make you find help for yourself, but I can ask you to. Honestly, this is some bullshit. What you’ve been reduced to. No man’s worth this shit. I loved K-P, more than I ever loved any other man, but when we separated, that was a wrap. One motherfucker tried to put his goddamn hands on me. That bitch is lucky he got away with both his fucking hands attached.”
“It isn’t as simple as you’re making it out to be,” Dinah protested.
Lack of use made her voice scratchy sounding.
“I know,” Roxy amended. “And I apologize if I made it so cut-and-dry, because every situation is different. But, sugar, he’s not around now. Don’t give that motherfucker the satisfaction of this .” She indicated Dinah with a sweep of her hands. “You really like Arrow watching over you? I could punch that motherfucker rather than have him watch over me. But you can’t do shit to him because you’re at his mercy.”
“No, I’m at his mercy, Christopher, ” she spat for clarification, “and she’s just letting me stay this way. I haven’t seen her in days.”
“ She is stuck at her house, her belly swollen with twins. As for him , he’s rougher around the edges than Joe, but Outlaw is that man all over again. You’ve got to get over your resentment of him.”
“It’s always been me and Meggie. She knew better than to tell anyone about Thomas. She would’ve had to leave me behind, and she refused to let anything come between us. Even the threat of Thomas hurting her, until she met him .”
Disgust dropping into her face, Roxy got to her feet. “You know what, honey? That’s the most fucked up shit I ever heard. But that’s bullshit for another day. Live on lost in your goddamn selfish world. I’m here for three weeks, so I’ll support your daughter as much as possible. You think about this. Zoann and Kendall don’t have one hope that their mommas will ever be there for them. They’re gone and no bringing them back. I hoped for a different outcome for Meggie, since you’re still alive. I guess I overestimated the woman Joe loved and K-P cared about.” She turned, scooped up Harley, and glanced between Zoann and Kendall. “Come on, sweetie pies. Kendall needs clothes and Zoann needs rest.”
Dear Diary,
To get understanding must I show it? Must I understand myself?
I’ve been in treatment exactly seven weeks today.
While I demanded Johnnie consider my feelings and understand me, I never really stopped to do the same with him.
How did I reach that conclusion, finally? We talked about my little sister, and my lack of consideration for whatever she said because I thought I knew best.
Caroline would tell me she believed couples didn’t have equal power in a relationship. What balanced it was the seesaw. Sometimes, one partner had more power than the other, but it depended on the situation.
“You’re an attorney, Kenny,” she’d chastise. “When you marry, if you don’t marry a lawyer, your husband may defer to you in legal matters. In that situation, you have the power.”
I’d scoff at her words, because I never stopped to understand her . I never appreciated her wisdom.
Although I still take issue with having my wedding planned by MEGGIE , I understand Johnnie’s intentions were good and came from a place of concern and not the deference to her that I’d pinned on him. In many ways, I had all the power. The only times he ever removed it was when he sent me on the healing retreat and….with the wedding.
He would’ve given me anything I wanted, but he wasn’t a mind-reader. To prevent misunderstandings, I should’ve spoken up, instead of expecting him to know what I wanted. Even without vocalizing my deepest desires, he knew. He understood me. He’d taken the time to listen to me.
He knew I wanted to marry him. He knew I wanted to live away from the club. He knew I wanted a bigger vehicle because I believed it would be safer for the baby. He knew I’d want a
“It isn’t as simple as you’re making it out to be,” Dinah protested.
Lack of use made her voice scratchy sounding.
“I know,” Roxy amended. “And I apologize if I made it so cut-and-dry, because every situation is different. But, sugar, he’s not around now. Don’t give that motherfucker the satisfaction of this .” She indicated Dinah with a sweep of her hands. “You really like Arrow watching over you? I could punch that motherfucker rather than have him watch over me. But you can’t do shit to him because you’re at his mercy.”
“No, I’m at his mercy, Christopher, ” she spat for clarification, “and she’s just letting me stay this way. I haven’t seen her in days.”
“ She is stuck at her house, her belly swollen with twins. As for him , he’s rougher around the edges than Joe, but Outlaw is that man all over again. You’ve got to get over your resentment of him.”
“It’s always been me and Meggie. She knew better than to tell anyone about Thomas. She would’ve had to leave me behind, and she refused to let anything come between us. Even the threat of Thomas hurting her, until she met him .”
Disgust dropping into her face, Roxy got to her feet. “You know what, honey? That’s the most fucked up shit I ever heard. But that’s bullshit for another day. Live on lost in your goddamn selfish world. I’m here for three weeks, so I’ll support your daughter as much as possible. You think about this. Zoann and Kendall don’t have one hope that their mommas will ever be there for them. They’re gone and no bringing them back. I hoped for a different outcome for Meggie, since you’re still alive. I guess I overestimated the woman Joe loved and K-P cared about.” She turned, scooped up Harley, and glanced between Zoann and Kendall. “Come on, sweetie pies. Kendall needs clothes and Zoann needs rest.”
Dear Diary,
To get understanding must I show it? Must I understand myself?
I’ve been in treatment exactly seven weeks today.
While I demanded Johnnie consider my feelings and understand me, I never really stopped to do the same with him.
How did I reach that conclusion, finally? We talked about my little sister, and my lack of consideration for whatever she said because I thought I knew best.
Caroline would tell me she believed couples didn’t have equal power in a relationship. What balanced it was the seesaw. Sometimes, one partner had more power than the other, but it depended on the situation.
“You’re an attorney, Kenny,” she’d chastise. “When you marry, if you don’t marry a lawyer, your husband may defer to you in legal matters. In that situation, you have the power.”
I’d scoff at her words, because I never stopped to understand her . I never appreciated her wisdom.
Although I still take issue with having my wedding planned by MEGGIE , I understand Johnnie’s intentions were good and came from a place of concern and not the deference to her that I’d pinned on him. In many ways, I had all the power. The only times he ever removed it was when he sent me on the healing retreat and….with the wedding.
He would’ve given me anything I wanted, but he wasn’t a mind-reader. To prevent misunderstandings, I should’ve spoken up, instead of expecting him to know what I wanted. Even without vocalizing my deepest desires, he knew. He understood me. He’d taken the time to listen to me.
He knew I wanted to marry him. He knew I wanted to live away from the club. He knew I wanted a bigger vehicle because I believed it would be safer for the baby. He knew I’d want a
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