be loved, anyway.â
âYouâre right. Heâs a bigger damn prima donna than she is. Now heâs behaving like heâd had some awful surprise. He must already have known what life with Marilyn would be like. When he first met her she was Elia Kazanâs mistress, and she was very mixed up. Then he saw her when she was filming Bus Stop with Josh Logan. Sheâd phone him for hours on end, and it canât have been hard to see how nervous she got when she had to give a performance. I think he just liked the image of himself as the man who captured the most famous woman in the world. It made him as famous as her. He wants to control her, and that makes him try to turn her against me. And now heâs gone running off to Paris, and from there heâs going to New York, as if he was fed up with Marilyn after only four weeks. Iâd much rather Marilyn ran off with you, believe me.â
âMe too. But thatâs not going to happen, Milton, I can assure you, so you can relax.â
âPaulaâs after Marilynâs money too. Well, itâs not really Paula, itâs Lee. Paula is a very unstable lady â which is sort of a pity, since
Marilyn depends on her for her stability. Paulaâs a frustrated actress. She has no self-confidence at all. She pours all her hopes and fears into Marilyn â like a typical Jewish mother, I suppose. That feeds into Marilynâs insecurity, and Lee takes advantage of it. Lee wants to be a great impresario, and Marilyn is his passport to the fame he thinks he deserves. Heâs charging a fortune for Paula to be here. More than anyone else. Much more than me. Why is everybody in the film business a frustrated something or other, who thinks they deserve to be paid thousands of dollars a week?â
âI donât think Olivier is that frustrated,â I said. âExcept perhaps in bed. And I donât think heâs that interested in money, either.â
âNo, basically Olivier is one of the good guys. Heâs just out of his depth. He doesnât have any idea whatâs going on in Marilynâs head. He treats her like a silly little blonde, even though he can see in the dailies that sheâs really very good â better than he is, Iâd say. Olivier is an old-fashioned actor with a great reputation. Marilyn thought that if she acted with him sheâd be taken seriously at last. Thatâs why she wanted to buy the rights to The Sleeping Prince â so she could tempt Olivier with a script she knew he liked. After all, heâd done it onstage, and with his wife. Imagine if little Marilyn could steal a part from the great Vivien Leigh, and maybe seduce Laurence Olivier as well. I must admit I thought she was crazy, but she brought it off â almost.â
âPoor Marilyn. She must be disappointed. She couldnât seduce Olivier, so she ended up with me.â
âYouâre making her happy right now, Colin. But, as I said, for how long? Nobody makes Marilyn happy for very long, and thatâs the truth.â
At one oâclock Tony came to tell me that lunch was ready, and Milton left. Tony was in a terrible sulk, so it was an uncomfortable meal. I felt sad that I had disobeyed his orders, especially as I was a guest in his home, but I had no regrets. Looking back on it, Saturday had been the happiest day of my life.
MONDAY, 17 SEPTEMBER
Back in the studio on Monday morning, things were even more depressing than usual. Marilyn didnât show up, and when I called the house as usual at nine a.m., Roger could tell me nothing. She was still in bed. He didnât know why. I was sure she had taken too many pills. Milton and Paula were regaining control. They would rather have a beautiful corpse than a free spirit, I said to myself, gnashing my teeth; but there was absolutely nothing I could do. I had served my purpose and been dismissed.
Milton turned up at the studio at eleven
âYouâre right. Heâs a bigger damn prima donna than she is. Now heâs behaving like heâd had some awful surprise. He must already have known what life with Marilyn would be like. When he first met her she was Elia Kazanâs mistress, and she was very mixed up. Then he saw her when she was filming Bus Stop with Josh Logan. Sheâd phone him for hours on end, and it canât have been hard to see how nervous she got when she had to give a performance. I think he just liked the image of himself as the man who captured the most famous woman in the world. It made him as famous as her. He wants to control her, and that makes him try to turn her against me. And now heâs gone running off to Paris, and from there heâs going to New York, as if he was fed up with Marilyn after only four weeks. Iâd much rather Marilyn ran off with you, believe me.â
âMe too. But thatâs not going to happen, Milton, I can assure you, so you can relax.â
âPaulaâs after Marilynâs money too. Well, itâs not really Paula, itâs Lee. Paula is a very unstable lady â which is sort of a pity, since
Marilyn depends on her for her stability. Paulaâs a frustrated actress. She has no self-confidence at all. She pours all her hopes and fears into Marilyn â like a typical Jewish mother, I suppose. That feeds into Marilynâs insecurity, and Lee takes advantage of it. Lee wants to be a great impresario, and Marilyn is his passport to the fame he thinks he deserves. Heâs charging a fortune for Paula to be here. More than anyone else. Much more than me. Why is everybody in the film business a frustrated something or other, who thinks they deserve to be paid thousands of dollars a week?â
âI donât think Olivier is that frustrated,â I said. âExcept perhaps in bed. And I donât think heâs that interested in money, either.â
âNo, basically Olivier is one of the good guys. Heâs just out of his depth. He doesnât have any idea whatâs going on in Marilynâs head. He treats her like a silly little blonde, even though he can see in the dailies that sheâs really very good â better than he is, Iâd say. Olivier is an old-fashioned actor with a great reputation. Marilyn thought that if she acted with him sheâd be taken seriously at last. Thatâs why she wanted to buy the rights to The Sleeping Prince â so she could tempt Olivier with a script she knew he liked. After all, heâd done it onstage, and with his wife. Imagine if little Marilyn could steal a part from the great Vivien Leigh, and maybe seduce Laurence Olivier as well. I must admit I thought she was crazy, but she brought it off â almost.â
âPoor Marilyn. She must be disappointed. She couldnât seduce Olivier, so she ended up with me.â
âYouâre making her happy right now, Colin. But, as I said, for how long? Nobody makes Marilyn happy for very long, and thatâs the truth.â
At one oâclock Tony came to tell me that lunch was ready, and Milton left. Tony was in a terrible sulk, so it was an uncomfortable meal. I felt sad that I had disobeyed his orders, especially as I was a guest in his home, but I had no regrets. Looking back on it, Saturday had been the happiest day of my life.
MONDAY, 17 SEPTEMBER
Back in the studio on Monday morning, things were even more depressing than usual. Marilyn didnât show up, and when I called the house as usual at nine a.m., Roger could tell me nothing. She was still in bed. He didnât know why. I was sure she had taken too many pills. Milton and Paula were regaining control. They would rather have a beautiful corpse than a free spirit, I said to myself, gnashing my teeth; but there was absolutely nothing I could do. I had served my purpose and been dismissed.
Milton turned up at the studio at eleven