a hug. I feel like a ton of bricks has been lifted off me, well at least half a ton. The other half will lift when I talk to Cash.
On the way back, we talk about practice, the lacrosse game, swimming, and my party.
“So, what you want for your birthday?”
“Not a thing. I just want to hang out with my friends and live it up.”
Once we return to my dorm room, Joe grabs his bag and leaves to get ready for practice. I know I need to talk to Cash, but I’m sure he’s busy on the farm. I have to be honest with him. I know that I love him, but it’s time to have some fun.
After practice, I decide to call Cash. I go to my room and say a little prayer. I don’t want to hurt him. I know he feels what I do for him, but he also understands why I came to Southern. I pick up the phone and call him. Before the phone even finishes the first ring, I hear Cash Money.
“Hey Char-coal! What you up to?”
“Just finished practice and thought I’d see what you were doing.”
“You miss me, huh?” He states with such confidence.
“But of course! Everything okay at home?”
“Yeah, so what you really got on your mind? I know you Char, remember?”
“Gah, I can’t get anything by you. Well, I just needed to hear your voice and talk to you about us.”
Cash gets really quiet. It sounds like he’s moving around.
“Hold on Charley, let me get where we can talk.”
I can hear the TV in the background and the screen door slam. I know exactly where he’s going. Toward the club.
“You going to the club, Cash?”
“I thought about it, but I think I’ll just sit at the truck.”
I love that truck. It is the perfect way to draw any country girl to a country boy, let alone some of the fun we have had in it. I pull myself from my thoughts.
“Okay, Charley. What you thinking?”
“I’m having so much fun here. I’ve really started to just be me, but I wanted to tell you one other thing.”
Before I can start my sentence, Cash completes it for me.
“There’s a guy, huh?”
“I’m not sure.”
“You’re not sure that he’s a guy or that you like him?” He asks laughing.
“Cash, you always make light of everything. I just needed to talk to you. You know I love you. I’ve always loved you, and after I left Hooters, I thought there could be no one but you. But, I just want to have fun. I don’t want to be tied down to one person right now. Does that make any sense?”
“It does, and I already knew that this was bound to happen. You are there and I’m home. I want you to experience college which is why I’m not pushing us. I’m here for you no matter where I am.”
“So, what do we do? I mean, are things okay with us?” My heart is in my throat.
“I tell you what. Have fun and experience college, but be careful. I can’t say that enough. I’ll do the same here. Charley, I love you. Let me ask you this. What would happen if I went out with someone else? How would you feel?”
I stop before I can even speak. Did he really just ask that? That hadn’t crossed my mind. I think I just might be sick.
“I guess I’d have to be okay with it.” Even though I know that I wouldn’t be fine with it.
“So Char, let’s do this. Let’s both experience life and see what happens. I’m not saying I’m going to look for someone, but let’s just have fun. When you come home next weekend, let’s talk about it in person.”
“Okay, but regardless, I do love you, Cash.”
“And I love you too, Char-coal.”
We hang up the phone and I take a deep breath. I know I want to have fun, but if Cash meets someone else it will be the end of me. I know it’s a double standard, but I don’t care. I want my cake and eat it, too!
I try to take the remainder of the week to
On the way back, we talk about practice, the lacrosse game, swimming, and my party.
“So, what you want for your birthday?”
“Not a thing. I just want to hang out with my friends and live it up.”
Once we return to my dorm room, Joe grabs his bag and leaves to get ready for practice. I know I need to talk to Cash, but I’m sure he’s busy on the farm. I have to be honest with him. I know that I love him, but it’s time to have some fun.
After practice, I decide to call Cash. I go to my room and say a little prayer. I don’t want to hurt him. I know he feels what I do for him, but he also understands why I came to Southern. I pick up the phone and call him. Before the phone even finishes the first ring, I hear Cash Money.
“Hey Char-coal! What you up to?”
“Just finished practice and thought I’d see what you were doing.”
“You miss me, huh?” He states with such confidence.
“But of course! Everything okay at home?”
“Yeah, so what you really got on your mind? I know you Char, remember?”
“Gah, I can’t get anything by you. Well, I just needed to hear your voice and talk to you about us.”
Cash gets really quiet. It sounds like he’s moving around.
“Hold on Charley, let me get where we can talk.”
I can hear the TV in the background and the screen door slam. I know exactly where he’s going. Toward the club.
“You going to the club, Cash?”
“I thought about it, but I think I’ll just sit at the truck.”
I love that truck. It is the perfect way to draw any country girl to a country boy, let alone some of the fun we have had in it. I pull myself from my thoughts.
“Okay, Charley. What you thinking?”
“I’m having so much fun here. I’ve really started to just be me, but I wanted to tell you one other thing.”
Before I can start my sentence, Cash completes it for me.
“There’s a guy, huh?”
“I’m not sure.”
“You’re not sure that he’s a guy or that you like him?” He asks laughing.
“Cash, you always make light of everything. I just needed to talk to you. You know I love you. I’ve always loved you, and after I left Hooters, I thought there could be no one but you. But, I just want to have fun. I don’t want to be tied down to one person right now. Does that make any sense?”
“It does, and I already knew that this was bound to happen. You are there and I’m home. I want you to experience college which is why I’m not pushing us. I’m here for you no matter where I am.”
“So, what do we do? I mean, are things okay with us?” My heart is in my throat.
“I tell you what. Have fun and experience college, but be careful. I can’t say that enough. I’ll do the same here. Charley, I love you. Let me ask you this. What would happen if I went out with someone else? How would you feel?”
I stop before I can even speak. Did he really just ask that? That hadn’t crossed my mind. I think I just might be sick.
“I guess I’d have to be okay with it.” Even though I know that I wouldn’t be fine with it.
“So Char, let’s do this. Let’s both experience life and see what happens. I’m not saying I’m going to look for someone, but let’s just have fun. When you come home next weekend, let’s talk about it in person.”
“Okay, but regardless, I do love you, Cash.”
“And I love you too, Char-coal.”
We hang up the phone and I take a deep breath. I know I want to have fun, but if Cash meets someone else it will be the end of me. I know it’s a double standard, but I don’t care. I want my cake and eat it, too!
I try to take the remainder of the week to
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