I ran. Then all of a sudden the sunny day we are in, changes to a dark storming night and she is sitting there crying her eyes out in so much pain. It’s more than I can take and I try to reach her, but there is an invisible wall between us. I pound my fist on the wall until my hands are bleeding, but no matter what I do I can’t reach her. She gets up from her seated position in the rain and walks over to me and places her hands on the wall right over mine. She mouths “I’m sorry” over and over again. Then she begins to blow away in the wind piece by piece.
I always wake up screaming her name.
My dorm mate was scared shitless the first time this happened. After a while he got used to it, but after so many times he asked me what the hell I went through to have a dream like that. He said I mumble Norma and Smalls all night long sometimes. I tell him she is the only girl I would ever love and I don’t know where she is. That she never loved me and it was all a game to her.
As time went on the dreams became less frequent and before long I forgot what the hell they were even about. I even moved on. If you can believe it. I sure as hell don’t.
Her name was Valarie and she is the complete opposite of Norma. Tall, curvy, blonde, and brown eyes. She didn’t make me crazy and that’s something I loved about her. Nothing she did even comes close to how Norma was. I loved it. I made it nearly two years with her before she got tired of me not being able to love her back.
So I guess that is the way I will always be. Alone never able to love anyone but Norma. Which I’m sure sounds crazy to you, but have you ever had that all-consuming love? I have. And it was with her. She breathed life into me and she took it away all in the same breath. She made me feel whole, when before I was only half a person. Crazy isn’t it? To find that at 18?
But I did and I wouldn’t ever change those months with her for anything.
Chapter 8
3 and a half years later…
Norma
The chilly winter air hits my face as I climb out of my car. I pull my coat closer around my body trying to keep the iciness from my torso. At least I don’t have to deal with snow like the north. I hate this weather. I can’t wait for a warm breeze on a sunny day. Shorts and flip flops and flirty dresses. Regina would appreciate me adding the dresses in there, since they weren’t part of my style until I met her.
Since it’s night the air is colder which makes me even grumpier. For some reason I got talked into going to a Reddy’s party, which makes no sense. Well since we aren’t allowed to party on the OBU campus a lot of students head over to the Henderson campus.
The apartment building I’m in is all college students and since it’s Friday night no one seems to care. Most of the apartments are blaring music as I walk past their doors. There are several people outside smoking cigarettes and I say hello to several I know. When I get to the right place, I push open the door and look through all the people for Regina. The warm air hits my freezing legs through my skinny jeans and I let out a sigh of relief. “Oh look who’s here!” comes a male voice to my left.
I look up to meet David’s face. He’s cute I guess. Long brown hair and blue eyes. Built like a linebacker and has a really deep voice to match. “Hey!” I call out to him smiling.
“Reg didn’t think you were going to show, you know since…” he trails off his eyes going wide thinking he might cause me distress on saying my recent ex’s name.
“He’s not here is he?” I ask quietly. I’m not at all upset about the breakup, seeing as he is the biggest jerk I have ever met. Only took me two years to figure it out. Though I didn’t expect him to just let me go like he did. He is scary as hell when he’s upset and he is upset most of the time.
“Naw girl. He had to go home this weekend, something about his mom.” He shrugs his
I always wake up screaming her name.
My dorm mate was scared shitless the first time this happened. After a while he got used to it, but after so many times he asked me what the hell I went through to have a dream like that. He said I mumble Norma and Smalls all night long sometimes. I tell him she is the only girl I would ever love and I don’t know where she is. That she never loved me and it was all a game to her.
As time went on the dreams became less frequent and before long I forgot what the hell they were even about. I even moved on. If you can believe it. I sure as hell don’t.
Her name was Valarie and she is the complete opposite of Norma. Tall, curvy, blonde, and brown eyes. She didn’t make me crazy and that’s something I loved about her. Nothing she did even comes close to how Norma was. I loved it. I made it nearly two years with her before she got tired of me not being able to love her back.
So I guess that is the way I will always be. Alone never able to love anyone but Norma. Which I’m sure sounds crazy to you, but have you ever had that all-consuming love? I have. And it was with her. She breathed life into me and she took it away all in the same breath. She made me feel whole, when before I was only half a person. Crazy isn’t it? To find that at 18?
But I did and I wouldn’t ever change those months with her for anything.
Chapter 8
3 and a half years later…
Norma
The chilly winter air hits my face as I climb out of my car. I pull my coat closer around my body trying to keep the iciness from my torso. At least I don’t have to deal with snow like the north. I hate this weather. I can’t wait for a warm breeze on a sunny day. Shorts and flip flops and flirty dresses. Regina would appreciate me adding the dresses in there, since they weren’t part of my style until I met her.
Since it’s night the air is colder which makes me even grumpier. For some reason I got talked into going to a Reddy’s party, which makes no sense. Well since we aren’t allowed to party on the OBU campus a lot of students head over to the Henderson campus.
The apartment building I’m in is all college students and since it’s Friday night no one seems to care. Most of the apartments are blaring music as I walk past their doors. There are several people outside smoking cigarettes and I say hello to several I know. When I get to the right place, I push open the door and look through all the people for Regina. The warm air hits my freezing legs through my skinny jeans and I let out a sigh of relief. “Oh look who’s here!” comes a male voice to my left.
I look up to meet David’s face. He’s cute I guess. Long brown hair and blue eyes. Built like a linebacker and has a really deep voice to match. “Hey!” I call out to him smiling.
“Reg didn’t think you were going to show, you know since…” he trails off his eyes going wide thinking he might cause me distress on saying my recent ex’s name.
“He’s not here is he?” I ask quietly. I’m not at all upset about the breakup, seeing as he is the biggest jerk I have ever met. Only took me two years to figure it out. Though I didn’t expect him to just let me go like he did. He is scary as hell when he’s upset and he is upset most of the time.
“Naw girl. He had to go home this weekend, something about his mom.” He shrugs his
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