Not Your Mother's Rules: The New Secrets for Dating by Ellen Fein, Sherrie Schneider Page B

who or where, what couple is vacationing—lots of drama. The rumor mill updates as fast as your news feed these days, and it can be a lot to handle! Sometimes it’s just TMI. While Facebook and other networking sites are great social outlets, they can cause a lot of confusion and misunderstanding. What you see, especially on a guy’s profile, is not always what’s really going on with him.
    We understand that when you like a guy, you want to know everything about him. You want to walk by his frat house or office, you want to see what his ex-girlfriend looks like, you want to read his LinkedIn profile, his Twitter stream, or anything else for clues and insights into his personality. You want to study his Facebook profile like a religion. You want to see anything he’s ever posted or was posted about him online. You want to spy on him!
    But in doing so, you might notice things that irk you, like girls writing on his wall or tagging him in photos. You might find out about a party that you weren’t invited to or see what he did Friday night that he didn’t tell you about. What was that about the hot tub at the snowboarding event? Why is his arm around that girl? We understand it’s upsetting to read orsee these kinds of things, but that does not mean he is cheating or that you have anything to worry about. There are non-
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Girls who will hug guys for the camera or try to make it seem like more is going on than there is. They have no life and want to find their fifteen minutes of fame on Facebook—don’t give it to them! Don’t believe everything you see or read. Sometimes a mean girl will post a photo of your crush with her just to stir things up. But don’t freak out. Half the time it’s not what you think!
    Facebooking Gone Wrong
    Cuddle up under a blanket and hug your teddy bear tight, because it’s time for a true-life Facebook horror story: The future was looking bright for Jordan and Laura. After a few weeks of dating, Jordan made their relationship Facebook official, and even chose an adorable photo of the two of them for his new profile pic. Then things suddenly took a turn for the worse. It started small, with Laura typing a cutesy “Good morning!” post on Jordan’s wall every day. Before long, though, she had filled his wall with lovey-dovey messages and romantic music videos that she had found on YouTube. Jordan’s friends teased him mercilessly about it, and they even posted ultra-gushy comments on his wall blatantly mocking Laura’s. After a while, it was all too much for Jordan to handle, and he decided to break things off—
via Facebook
. As if Laura weren’t embarrassed enough, dozens of Jordan’s Facebook friends “liked” their breakup! Laura shouldn’t have let her private feelings for Jordan become so public. Guys can be mushy, too, just not in such high doses—and not in plain sight of everyone they know.
    —Rules Daughters
    Pretend you were born in another era when all you knew about a guy was how he treated you, not what you might see on Facebook. You wouldn’t write on his wall, much less be addicted to reading it. We know you’re going to look at his profile, but here’s the key: make sure you do not quote it when you are with him. Never even bring up his Facebook page, much less say, “I see Chelsea friended you” or “I guess you had a really busy day skiing.” You will sound like a stalker.
    Brooke, a junior in college, wrote to us saying that she was worried that her long-distance boyfriend in medical school was hooking up because she saw photos of him skiing with other girls on Facebook. It was a
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relationship and they were exclusive, so we didn’t think she had anything to worry about. We told Brooke not to bring it up with him. A few days later he said he was tired of not seeing her and booked a ticket for the weekend. Some guys just have female friends!
    You need to go by a guy’s actions, not what is posted on his wall. There are a lot of mean girls