awake, listening to the nighttime Messages play on and on. I must be a good girl, I must, I must, I must .
“I haven’t slept since the night in the garden.”
“You haven’t slept in four days ?”
I start laughing, convulsions moving through me.
“That sounds dangerous.” I can tell by isabel’s face she doesn’t find it as funny as I do. “Maybe you should ask chastity-ruth if you can skip the chamber session this morning. You’re in no state to be exercising.”
“Thanks, isabel,” I say. “The gym keeps me skinny! Math is hard. Pink is my favorite color. Wanna go shopping? You’re my best friend.”
“Hey, girls.” megan and the twins approach before isabel can reply. chastity-ruth is distracted, leaving her desk to yell at a group of 5th years for laughing too loudly. Thethree of them have styled their hair in textured side braids, eyes lined heavily with black kohl.
“Hey.” isabel continues to chew her food slowly.
“isabel.” megan’s voice is like silk. “Have you been watching the Carmichaels? What’s happening with Charles and carrie?” She sighs. “It’s so typical that we’re banned from TV during such a crucial period in their lives.”
isabel takes a sip of water before placing the glass back on the table. “I don’t watch that show.”
The lights have caught fire in the twins’ hair and they merge into one, then two, then one. Are they secretly the same person? My mouth is dry. Little stars leak out of megan’s skin, replacing her eyeballs with golden stars. My mouth is so dry. I grab isabel’s glass and gulp down what’s left in it. I drop it back on the table, looking at the girl looking back at me. Greasy dark hair pulled away from an ashen face. Is that the girl they keep calling freida?
“You look like shit.” Star-eyes is talking to me, the clones nodding in the background.
“But skinny! You’ve lost five pounds at least. You could totally create your own diet program,” the clones tell me. They might be jealous. I didn’t think machines could have feelings.
It’s true, I am skinny. My bones jostle underneath my skin, fighting to be the first one to pierce my flesh.
“Food tastes of nothing.” I don’t look the clones in the eyes. They will turn me to stone.
“Why is she slurring her words?”
“She’s fine,” isabel answers abruptly.
I am fine, I am fine, I am fine.
“Eggies for lunch? I’m so sick of eggies.” megan is bickering with the stacks of silver tureens again and again and again .
“Haven’t we done this before? Haven’t we done this before? Haven’t we done this before?”
“What?” megan stares at me.
“What?” I answer back. “What? What? What? What?”
“Why do you keep repeating everything?”
Someone is turning the volume controls on her voice up and down and up and down. My eyes are turning inside and then out, they are too big for the sockets, they are going to fall out, fall to the floor like ping-pong balls, bounce, bounce, bounce.
“What? Haven’t we done this before? Haven’t we done this before? Haven’t we done this before?”
“Is there a problem here?” chastity-ruth swoops down, black robes billowing.
Haven’t we done this before?
Blackness swarms and I see nothing as the floor rises to meet me, to be my dancing partner.
Chapter 11
“freida?”
Tiredness is pulling me under. I’m trying to keep my head up, claw my way out of this never-ending dream, but I keep falling back. The world blinks once, twice. A bald head is floating before me. I should nod to say that I am awake, but my skull feels like a burden. I close my eyes again.
“I’ll wait here until she wakes up, chastity-magdalena.” Another voice, a girl. Younger.
“You’re not supposed to be here. You might get in trouble.”
“It’s me .” Her voice cracks a little. “I can’t get in trouble, can I?”
Footsteps walking away. A hand on my forehead, brushing away my hair.
freida, freida .
My name is
“I haven’t slept since the night in the garden.”
“You haven’t slept in four days ?”
I start laughing, convulsions moving through me.
“That sounds dangerous.” I can tell by isabel’s face she doesn’t find it as funny as I do. “Maybe you should ask chastity-ruth if you can skip the chamber session this morning. You’re in no state to be exercising.”
“Thanks, isabel,” I say. “The gym keeps me skinny! Math is hard. Pink is my favorite color. Wanna go shopping? You’re my best friend.”
“Hey, girls.” megan and the twins approach before isabel can reply. chastity-ruth is distracted, leaving her desk to yell at a group of 5th years for laughing too loudly. Thethree of them have styled their hair in textured side braids, eyes lined heavily with black kohl.
“Hey.” isabel continues to chew her food slowly.
“isabel.” megan’s voice is like silk. “Have you been watching the Carmichaels? What’s happening with Charles and carrie?” She sighs. “It’s so typical that we’re banned from TV during such a crucial period in their lives.”
isabel takes a sip of water before placing the glass back on the table. “I don’t watch that show.”
The lights have caught fire in the twins’ hair and they merge into one, then two, then one. Are they secretly the same person? My mouth is dry. Little stars leak out of megan’s skin, replacing her eyeballs with golden stars. My mouth is so dry. I grab isabel’s glass and gulp down what’s left in it. I drop it back on the table, looking at the girl looking back at me. Greasy dark hair pulled away from an ashen face. Is that the girl they keep calling freida?
“You look like shit.” Star-eyes is talking to me, the clones nodding in the background.
“But skinny! You’ve lost five pounds at least. You could totally create your own diet program,” the clones tell me. They might be jealous. I didn’t think machines could have feelings.
It’s true, I am skinny. My bones jostle underneath my skin, fighting to be the first one to pierce my flesh.
“Food tastes of nothing.” I don’t look the clones in the eyes. They will turn me to stone.
“Why is she slurring her words?”
“She’s fine,” isabel answers abruptly.
I am fine, I am fine, I am fine.
“Eggies for lunch? I’m so sick of eggies.” megan is bickering with the stacks of silver tureens again and again and again .
“Haven’t we done this before? Haven’t we done this before? Haven’t we done this before?”
“What?” megan stares at me.
“What?” I answer back. “What? What? What? What?”
“Why do you keep repeating everything?”
Someone is turning the volume controls on her voice up and down and up and down. My eyes are turning inside and then out, they are too big for the sockets, they are going to fall out, fall to the floor like ping-pong balls, bounce, bounce, bounce.
“What? Haven’t we done this before? Haven’t we done this before? Haven’t we done this before?”
“Is there a problem here?” chastity-ruth swoops down, black robes billowing.
Haven’t we done this before?
Blackness swarms and I see nothing as the floor rises to meet me, to be my dancing partner.
Chapter 11
“freida?”
Tiredness is pulling me under. I’m trying to keep my head up, claw my way out of this never-ending dream, but I keep falling back. The world blinks once, twice. A bald head is floating before me. I should nod to say that I am awake, but my skull feels like a burden. I close my eyes again.
“I’ll wait here until she wakes up, chastity-magdalena.” Another voice, a girl. Younger.
“You’re not supposed to be here. You might get in trouble.”
“It’s me .” Her voice cracks a little. “I can’t get in trouble, can I?”
Footsteps walking away. A hand on my forehead, brushing away my hair.
freida, freida .
My name is
Similar Books
