This time I would have to keep hold of her while pushing her anger. That way I could do the experiment without them knowing.
“Just like you and I need each other?” I asked. “Then why won’t you turn me?”
Ash slammed her hand down hard on the table as Hania shook his head at me. It was working. A ll I had to do was keep pushing and I was sure she would snap.
“Why are you being difficult , Jason?” Ash yelled. “You’ve been picking fights with everyone!”
She was onto me.
“I’m not being difficult,” I said. “I’m realistic. You should leave your fucking fantasyland and join me sometime.”
Ash lunged. I braced to catch her, when Hania shouted in an unfamiliar language. Ash hung in midair like a puppet, then fell on her back. She stared dumbstruck at the ceiling. As anger at Hania surged through me, I struggled to stay human. Ash jumped to her feet, glaring at me. Hania pointed a tiny woo den wand at Ash. My body shook as I yearned to attack. Ash stood still, anger rippling into her hands. She too wanted to strike, but the thought of being slammed down on the floor again made her reconsider. She turned and ran outside.
“No!” I growled, starting after her, then I caught myself just in time. Hania lowered the wand.
I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. That stupid old man had fucked up my chance to be immortal. I fell back on the sofa beside Josh. He avoided my gaze. I hit “Resume.”
“That was a bullshit thing to do, Jason!” Sarah snarled.
I ignored her as she reassured Jack. Once she’d calmed him, she followed Ash outside.
“Jason,” Hania said.
“I don’t want to hear it, old man!”
He spoke another strange word. The controller flew from my hand, slamming into the console. That shut everything off.
“Goddamn it!” I screamed.
“You will listen to me!” Hania bellowed. His ferocity belied his frail body. “You complained that Ashley tortured you when Verloren died. Now you’ve turned the tables. You’re hurting her. Your constant nagging and endless desire must stop! We all know you love her, Jason, but you cannot, and won’t ever fill Verloren’s shoes. No one can.
“I see your mind, Jason. You act tough, refusing to find your true soul mate. Why? Because you’re terrified of any possible and permanent connection. The only reason you peruse the permanence of being a hybrid is because you know Ash, and the rest of us, won’t let it happen. You always want what you can’t have.”
“Bullshit!” I spat.
“Is it?” Hania asked. “Then prove me wrong.”
I got up and walked out, mumbling: “Nice fucking try.”
When I reached my apartment I slammed the door. Me torturing her, I thought. What a fucking joke. She’s the one torturing herself. If she would let go of him, she could be happy with me. She could’ve had a life with me in Indiana. When she was still a beautiful powerful human, we might’ve shared an almost normal life. Instead everyone wanted me to run after some girl I don’t even know. How could you love someone you don’t know?
The ache in my chest wasn’t much worse. Maybe this would be as bad as it got. If so, I could deal with it. I grabbed a cigarette, flopped down on the sofa and turned on the stereo, cranking up the volume on Sirens and Sailors. After a few songs someone knocked on my door. I turned the music down and opened the door to find Jack.
“What do you want?” I growled.
“Can I talk to you?” He fidgeted and looked at the ground.
“Talk.”
“In private.”
I stepped out of the way, gesturing for him to enter. He walked past me avoiding eye contact. I closed the door and looked at this walking nervous wreck. “You live in a house of monsters, Jack. There are no private conversations.” I tapped my ear. “Everyone can hear better than any human. Now sit down.”
Jack sat on the edge of the sofa. Looking at him I was suddenly reminded of Verloren. He’d had the same bewildered realization of love when
“Just like you and I need each other?” I asked. “Then why won’t you turn me?”
Ash slammed her hand down hard on the table as Hania shook his head at me. It was working. A ll I had to do was keep pushing and I was sure she would snap.
“Why are you being difficult , Jason?” Ash yelled. “You’ve been picking fights with everyone!”
She was onto me.
“I’m not being difficult,” I said. “I’m realistic. You should leave your fucking fantasyland and join me sometime.”
Ash lunged. I braced to catch her, when Hania shouted in an unfamiliar language. Ash hung in midair like a puppet, then fell on her back. She stared dumbstruck at the ceiling. As anger at Hania surged through me, I struggled to stay human. Ash jumped to her feet, glaring at me. Hania pointed a tiny woo den wand at Ash. My body shook as I yearned to attack. Ash stood still, anger rippling into her hands. She too wanted to strike, but the thought of being slammed down on the floor again made her reconsider. She turned and ran outside.
“No!” I growled, starting after her, then I caught myself just in time. Hania lowered the wand.
I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. That stupid old man had fucked up my chance to be immortal. I fell back on the sofa beside Josh. He avoided my gaze. I hit “Resume.”
“That was a bullshit thing to do, Jason!” Sarah snarled.
I ignored her as she reassured Jack. Once she’d calmed him, she followed Ash outside.
“Jason,” Hania said.
“I don’t want to hear it, old man!”
He spoke another strange word. The controller flew from my hand, slamming into the console. That shut everything off.
“Goddamn it!” I screamed.
“You will listen to me!” Hania bellowed. His ferocity belied his frail body. “You complained that Ashley tortured you when Verloren died. Now you’ve turned the tables. You’re hurting her. Your constant nagging and endless desire must stop! We all know you love her, Jason, but you cannot, and won’t ever fill Verloren’s shoes. No one can.
“I see your mind, Jason. You act tough, refusing to find your true soul mate. Why? Because you’re terrified of any possible and permanent connection. The only reason you peruse the permanence of being a hybrid is because you know Ash, and the rest of us, won’t let it happen. You always want what you can’t have.”
“Bullshit!” I spat.
“Is it?” Hania asked. “Then prove me wrong.”
I got up and walked out, mumbling: “Nice fucking try.”
When I reached my apartment I slammed the door. Me torturing her, I thought. What a fucking joke. She’s the one torturing herself. If she would let go of him, she could be happy with me. She could’ve had a life with me in Indiana. When she was still a beautiful powerful human, we might’ve shared an almost normal life. Instead everyone wanted me to run after some girl I don’t even know. How could you love someone you don’t know?
The ache in my chest wasn’t much worse. Maybe this would be as bad as it got. If so, I could deal with it. I grabbed a cigarette, flopped down on the sofa and turned on the stereo, cranking up the volume on Sirens and Sailors. After a few songs someone knocked on my door. I turned the music down and opened the door to find Jack.
“What do you want?” I growled.
“Can I talk to you?” He fidgeted and looked at the ground.
“Talk.”
“In private.”
I stepped out of the way, gesturing for him to enter. He walked past me avoiding eye contact. I closed the door and looked at this walking nervous wreck. “You live in a house of monsters, Jack. There are no private conversations.” I tapped my ear. “Everyone can hear better than any human. Now sit down.”
Jack sat on the edge of the sofa. Looking at him I was suddenly reminded of Verloren. He’d had the same bewildered realization of love when
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