said.
I forced a smile as I rolled to the side. “No need for an apology.”
“Well, Claire seemed to do a great job with you. I’ve never met anyone as perfect as you,” she said.
“I’m far from perfect,” I said as I rolled onto my back.
“Brothers and sisters?” she asked.
“Neither, an only child,” I responded.
She sat up in the bed and pulled the comforter over her chest. As she turned to face me, her eyes widened drastically. “An only child?”
I nodded my head.
“The day we met, you said you were mailing your sister a letter. You lied to me?” she said in a harsh tone.
Son-of-a-bitch.
I sat up and extended my index finger. “Give me a minute.”
“I’ll give you as long as it fucking takes, but if you’ve been lying to me, I’m leaving and you’ll never see my happy little ass again,” she snarled.
I knew as much as I didn’t want to, I must tell her the truth. Keeping anything from her wasn’t something I would be able to do, nor did I wish to try. As embarrassing as it was to admit, maybe the truth would allow her to understand I was as much a human as everyone else, and all of the wealth in the world couldn’t fix the emotional state of someone who felt alone and unloved. I tilted my head back, gazed at the ceiling, and inhaled a deep breath of courage. As I exhaled, I turned my head to the side and pursed my lips.
“I told you it had been ten years since I had sex. That was true. And, it has been ten years since I was in a relationship. I have never, however, been in love. Additionally, I’ll advise you, I’ve never really felt that I have been loved, with the exception of Claire that is, and she has long since passed,” I paused and slowly inhaled another deep breath.
Speaking to Stevie regarding the matter wasn’t easy, but I felt immediate relief as I continued to speak. The thought of losing her was crushing, and explaining my concerns, thoughts, and feelings seemed to slowly provide the exact opposite feeling. As each word escaped my mouth, along with it went a small piece of each of the things that brought me to the day we met.
“So, in recent years, my only involvement with my parents has been for them to admire my financial statements and attempt to force me to move to another state and find someone to love. They’re of the belief that no one worthy of my love can reside in the Midwest, only in a major metropolitan area. As much as I love the thought of leaving them, they’re truly all I ever felt I had. And, for the last two or three years, I’ve felt alone. Terribly alone.”
As I paused and sighed lightly she pulled the comforter to her chin and relaxed into the headboard of the bed. After another deep breath, I continued.
“Everything came to a head the night before we met. I made a judgement call at work, and the decision cost me over a million dollars. By no means was it financially crippling, but I knew they’d make note of it when they reviewed my quarterly reports. I felt foolish for taking the risk, like a failure for losing the money, and I was certain I would expose myself to the wrath of my parents for having done so.”
Now came the difficult part. I bit my quivering lip and recalled the morning before my trip to the store.
“I had reached a point where I was extremely depressed regarding everything. It seemed every day that things got worse, and the pressure to continue became unbearable. After losing the money, I attempted to call my father but the calls were, as always, unanswered. The same with my mother. Several calls went unanswered, but she did text me after the last call. “Call me next week” was her response to the lengthy voicemails I had left her. And, once again, I was alone. More so than ever and at a time I really needed someone. It was the last straw. So, I uhhm. I decided….”
I pressed the tips of my fingers against my eyes and continued. “I went to my downstairs office and I uhhm. I made the
I forced a smile as I rolled to the side. “No need for an apology.”
“Well, Claire seemed to do a great job with you. I’ve never met anyone as perfect as you,” she said.
“I’m far from perfect,” I said as I rolled onto my back.
“Brothers and sisters?” she asked.
“Neither, an only child,” I responded.
She sat up in the bed and pulled the comforter over her chest. As she turned to face me, her eyes widened drastically. “An only child?”
I nodded my head.
“The day we met, you said you were mailing your sister a letter. You lied to me?” she said in a harsh tone.
Son-of-a-bitch.
I sat up and extended my index finger. “Give me a minute.”
“I’ll give you as long as it fucking takes, but if you’ve been lying to me, I’m leaving and you’ll never see my happy little ass again,” she snarled.
I knew as much as I didn’t want to, I must tell her the truth. Keeping anything from her wasn’t something I would be able to do, nor did I wish to try. As embarrassing as it was to admit, maybe the truth would allow her to understand I was as much a human as everyone else, and all of the wealth in the world couldn’t fix the emotional state of someone who felt alone and unloved. I tilted my head back, gazed at the ceiling, and inhaled a deep breath of courage. As I exhaled, I turned my head to the side and pursed my lips.
“I told you it had been ten years since I had sex. That was true. And, it has been ten years since I was in a relationship. I have never, however, been in love. Additionally, I’ll advise you, I’ve never really felt that I have been loved, with the exception of Claire that is, and she has long since passed,” I paused and slowly inhaled another deep breath.
Speaking to Stevie regarding the matter wasn’t easy, but I felt immediate relief as I continued to speak. The thought of losing her was crushing, and explaining my concerns, thoughts, and feelings seemed to slowly provide the exact opposite feeling. As each word escaped my mouth, along with it went a small piece of each of the things that brought me to the day we met.
“So, in recent years, my only involvement with my parents has been for them to admire my financial statements and attempt to force me to move to another state and find someone to love. They’re of the belief that no one worthy of my love can reside in the Midwest, only in a major metropolitan area. As much as I love the thought of leaving them, they’re truly all I ever felt I had. And, for the last two or three years, I’ve felt alone. Terribly alone.”
As I paused and sighed lightly she pulled the comforter to her chin and relaxed into the headboard of the bed. After another deep breath, I continued.
“Everything came to a head the night before we met. I made a judgement call at work, and the decision cost me over a million dollars. By no means was it financially crippling, but I knew they’d make note of it when they reviewed my quarterly reports. I felt foolish for taking the risk, like a failure for losing the money, and I was certain I would expose myself to the wrath of my parents for having done so.”
Now came the difficult part. I bit my quivering lip and recalled the morning before my trip to the store.
“I had reached a point where I was extremely depressed regarding everything. It seemed every day that things got worse, and the pressure to continue became unbearable. After losing the money, I attempted to call my father but the calls were, as always, unanswered. The same with my mother. Several calls went unanswered, but she did text me after the last call. “Call me next week” was her response to the lengthy voicemails I had left her. And, once again, I was alone. More so than ever and at a time I really needed someone. It was the last straw. So, I uhhm. I decided….”
I pressed the tips of my fingers against my eyes and continued. “I went to my downstairs office and I uhhm. I made the
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