Spectral by Shannon Duffy

Jayden. Here he was standing up for me when he could have drowned because of my carelessness. A lump formed in my throat. A mixture of guilt and adoration for my little brother grew inside of me.
    “Well ya need to listen to your sister, Mate,” the man scolded as he got out of the pool and patted Jayden’s shoulder.
    “Are you okay?” I asked Jayden as the man walked away.
    Jayden splashed his toes in the water and smiled up at me. “I’m fine.”
    “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
    “It’s okay.”
    “But it’s not okay, Jay,” I whispered as I shook my head, disgusted with myself. I wiped his hair back from his forehead as trails of white sunscreen trickled down the side of his face. “I’m your big sister and it’s my job to look out for you.” Tears welled in my eyes. Partly because I was so happy he was safe, partly because I felt so guilty for what happened, and partly because his love for me totally amazed me. “I promise I’ll never let anything hurt you again.” I wrapped my arm around him, tugging him to my side, and leaned down to kiss his wet head. “I promise…I promise…I promise…”
    “Jewel?”
    “I promise.”
    “What do you promise? Are you okay? Wake up.”
    I heard a voice, but it seemed miles away. I felt my hair being pushed back away from my face, and I opened my eyes. Roman gazed down on me, his eyes widened in obvious concern.
    I realized I lay on the ground, my head in Roman’s lap. I knew I’d dreamed about one of the worst moments of my life. My head throbbed, and pain seared behind my eyes. I pinched them closed again.
    “Jewel?” Roman called.
    The memories of earlier in the cave came flooding back, and I bolted upright. I brought my knees up to my chest, resting my head on them and turning to face Roman.
    “What happened to me?” I asked.
    “You passed out.” Roman twisted around and squatted, facing me. “I think you were reliving some bad experience or something, but I couldn’t wake you.”
    “Yeah, I was dreaming about something that happened a couple of years ago.” I shook the thought of Jayden’s near drowning away, grateful it was just a bad memory.
    “Well, it seemed pretty intense. You wanna talk about it?”
    With a deep breath, I told him what had happened with Jayden in the pool. It felt good to get it off my chest. “Unbelievable, right?” I asked when I finished. I was sure my face must have been several shades of red.
    “Those things happen, I guess.” He smiled and rubbed my shoulder. “Has it happened since then?”
    “Not often, I guess. But too often for me.” I closed my eyes and hung my head. “I seem to freeze when panic sets in.” My mind reeled with flashing images from the past. “Once we lived in a remote area where there was this old railway station. Trains didn’t run there much, and so my dad and I used to go there to hang out…you know, walk and talk. But one time while we walked on an empty track, I heard a train coming, I totally locked up. I watched like an idiot as the steam engine’s lights came right at me. But no matter how hard I tried to move my legs, they just locked up.” I rubbed my eyes, willing the images away, before opening them again. “Luckily my father was there. He snatched me off the track in time before I was squashed like road kill. I was only ten at the time,” I added so he didn’t think I was a total dork. I lifted my head and met Roman’s gaze.
    He cracked a slight smile. “A train track?”
    “Well the place was so cool, and my dad used to get the train schedule and when there were no runs on the agenda, we’d go have a little peace. It was our time. I liked those moments…at least until that incident,” I shrugged.
    “Well I’m glad you’re okay now. You had me worried there for a while,” Roman rubbed his forehead with both hands, like he had a headache or a lot on his mind. “I’m sorry. This is my fault.”
    “What is?”
    “Everything. You here like this.