believe me, I wouldn’t let that happen.”
She desperately sucked in air, which did nothing to relieve the tension in her chest. “You can’t guarantee that. No one can. Accidents happen. It’s best not to take chances.”
He studied her with unblinking concentration, his gaze going on and on, past the brittleness stinging in her eyes, straight toward the fear surrounding her soul.
She averted her eyes, afraid of exposure, and looked at Alex but couldn’t bear the sight of him perched so nonchalantly on the roof. Instead, she glanced at the bare studs of the back wall. A shiver raced across her shoulders. So many things could happen—accidents, fires—
“Are you planning to wrap him in cotton wool and keep him so close he can’t breathe just to make sure he doesn’t face risks?” Colby had come down from the roof and stood two feet away. He kept his voice low, meant for her ears only.
“What do you know about dealing with badthings? Seems to me you drown your sorrows so you can’t feel or else you run. I don’t have those sort of options nor would I take them if I did.” She gasped at the accusations she had spewed at him. “I’m sorry. I should not have spoken so hastily.”
“You spoke the truth. I don’t deny it.” His voice was harsh as if he wished he could. “But I’m back. To stay.” He lowered his voice. “But we were talking about Alex. Anna, you can’t protect him from life. You need to let him grow up.”
“He’s only fourteen.” Even as she spoke she knew Alex should be more mature than he was. But she didn’t know how she could make him grow up. Didn’t it happen in its own good time?
“I was on my own by his age.”
“He has nothing to make him run away from home.”
“I appreciate that.”
She nodded and turned to again order Alex from the roof.
Colby touched her shoulder, causing every nerve in her body to tremble. “Anna, what about your faith? Doesn’t it teach you to trust God with the things that come into our lives?”
Red-hot flashes burst across her eyesight. She blinked, fearing another fire but the flames were inside her and posed no threat to anyone but Colby. “How dare you lecture me on faith?”
His eyes turned stormy-blue. “I am not lecturing, merely pointing out that life involves risks and faith should make us able to face them without fear.”
The truth of his words drilled through her head. Her faith should be stronger. Her faith was her only defense. If she neglected to honor it, what protection did she have from disaster? “You’re right, of course. I must trust God to take care of me and those I love.”
He nodded, his eyes still filled with uncertainty as if he expected something different from her.
“Like I told you, He sustained me through the loss of Rose and Timmy. He upheld me when you—” She stopped. She would not confess how her world had crashed when he came back with a wife. Or when he’d left again. He must never know that she still loved him in some forbidden corner of her heart that she had barricaded.
“When I what?”
She avoided meeting his gaze, afraid he would read the truth in her eyes—her pain, her love. “You left me to raise Dorrie.”
“It was the best thing I could do at the time. I wasn’t ready to be a father.”
If he meant that to give her reassurance…
Did he think he was ready to father Dorrie now?
And if so, where did that leave Anna?
But she couldn’t deal with the possibility he might take her away, and she forced her thoughts back to Alex.
Colby struggled with his feelings. Was he ready to be a father now? This afternoon he had successfully dealt with Dorrie in a gentle manner even though she kicked and screamed when he approached her. He had not resorted to his father’s methods. It felt good. And right. But it was only one time. Could he do it day in and day out?
He didn’t know. But he knew one thing. He was through with running. He intended to stay right here and be as
She desperately sucked in air, which did nothing to relieve the tension in her chest. “You can’t guarantee that. No one can. Accidents happen. It’s best not to take chances.”
He studied her with unblinking concentration, his gaze going on and on, past the brittleness stinging in her eyes, straight toward the fear surrounding her soul.
She averted her eyes, afraid of exposure, and looked at Alex but couldn’t bear the sight of him perched so nonchalantly on the roof. Instead, she glanced at the bare studs of the back wall. A shiver raced across her shoulders. So many things could happen—accidents, fires—
“Are you planning to wrap him in cotton wool and keep him so close he can’t breathe just to make sure he doesn’t face risks?” Colby had come down from the roof and stood two feet away. He kept his voice low, meant for her ears only.
“What do you know about dealing with badthings? Seems to me you drown your sorrows so you can’t feel or else you run. I don’t have those sort of options nor would I take them if I did.” She gasped at the accusations she had spewed at him. “I’m sorry. I should not have spoken so hastily.”
“You spoke the truth. I don’t deny it.” His voice was harsh as if he wished he could. “But I’m back. To stay.” He lowered his voice. “But we were talking about Alex. Anna, you can’t protect him from life. You need to let him grow up.”
“He’s only fourteen.” Even as she spoke she knew Alex should be more mature than he was. But she didn’t know how she could make him grow up. Didn’t it happen in its own good time?
“I was on my own by his age.”
“He has nothing to make him run away from home.”
“I appreciate that.”
She nodded and turned to again order Alex from the roof.
Colby touched her shoulder, causing every nerve in her body to tremble. “Anna, what about your faith? Doesn’t it teach you to trust God with the things that come into our lives?”
Red-hot flashes burst across her eyesight. She blinked, fearing another fire but the flames were inside her and posed no threat to anyone but Colby. “How dare you lecture me on faith?”
His eyes turned stormy-blue. “I am not lecturing, merely pointing out that life involves risks and faith should make us able to face them without fear.”
The truth of his words drilled through her head. Her faith should be stronger. Her faith was her only defense. If she neglected to honor it, what protection did she have from disaster? “You’re right, of course. I must trust God to take care of me and those I love.”
He nodded, his eyes still filled with uncertainty as if he expected something different from her.
“Like I told you, He sustained me through the loss of Rose and Timmy. He upheld me when you—” She stopped. She would not confess how her world had crashed when he came back with a wife. Or when he’d left again. He must never know that she still loved him in some forbidden corner of her heart that she had barricaded.
“When I what?”
She avoided meeting his gaze, afraid he would read the truth in her eyes—her pain, her love. “You left me to raise Dorrie.”
“It was the best thing I could do at the time. I wasn’t ready to be a father.”
If he meant that to give her reassurance…
Did he think he was ready to father Dorrie now?
And if so, where did that leave Anna?
But she couldn’t deal with the possibility he might take her away, and she forced her thoughts back to Alex.
Colby struggled with his feelings. Was he ready to be a father now? This afternoon he had successfully dealt with Dorrie in a gentle manner even though she kicked and screamed when he approached her. He had not resorted to his father’s methods. It felt good. And right. But it was only one time. Could he do it day in and day out?
He didn’t know. But he knew one thing. He was through with running. He intended to stay right here and be as
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