The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön Page B

what allowed something to shift. Then the reservoir of compassion began to emerge.
    Frequently there is no such reward. Staying with sorrow or pain is not necessarily an immediately gratifying process. But over time, we begin to feel lighter and more courageous. Familiarization with the teachings and the bodhichitta practices in an ongoing way is how we learn to reside with distress and to experience our shared humanity. This is how we make the teachings useful and heartfelt in our lives.
    The third source of inspiration is the seed of goodness . That reservoirs of openness and tenderness are available to us is the strength of the positive seed, the seed of bodhichitta. Sometimes remembering our basic goodness takes a leap of faith. The trick is to connect with the soft spot that we already have. Sometimes it helps to find little ways that the seed of goodness manifests in our life. To find our ability to rejoice and to care, even when it’s fleeting, strengthens our confidence. To see how we block our hearts and close our minds brings self-compassion and the longing not to do that anymore.
    So our practice is to keep watering the seed. We water it by thinking of others, both when we’re happy and when we’re in distress. We water it by recognizing our kinship with all beings throughout time and space. We water it by noticing our negative and positive reactions to whomever and whatever we meet. We water it with gentleness and honesty. We learn to ask, “How can I use this suffering and this joy as a vehicle for transformation?” And we practice being kind when we get stuck.
    The fourth strength is reproach . Reproach can be tricky because it backfires if there’s no maitri. Its strength is that if used with loving-kindness it will steer us away from debilitating habitual patterns. The gentlest method of reproach is to ask ourselves, “Have I ever done this before?” When we suspect that we’re turning away from the moment, we can say to ourselves as a reminder, “Does this way of acting or thinking feel familiar?”
    Trungpa Rinpoche encouraged his students to be eccentric bodhisattvas and to give ego a hard time. He suggested that instead of listening to the radio or singing in the shower, we talk to our ego. “Okay, ego, you’ve been giving me problems for my entire life and now I’m getting a whole lot smarter. I’m not going to be under your sway for one more day!”
    Patrul Rinpoche tells some wonderful stories about a monk called Geshe Ben. Reproaching the ego was one of his main practices. He specialized in catching himself getting hooked. One day some patrons invited Geshe Ben for a meal. After it was over, he was left alone in the room with a big bag of flour. Without thinking, he put his cup in the bag and started to take some for his journey. With his hand in the bag he exclaimed, “Ben, look what you’re doing!” Then he shouted, “Thief! Thief!” The patrons rushed in to find him standing there, his hand still in the flour, yelling, “I’ve caught him! I’ve caught him! I’ve caught the thief red-handed!” That’s the spirit of reproach. Including a sense of humor is what allows it to work.
    The next time Geshe Ben had a meal with his patrons, they were serving other monks as well. Many delicious foods were offered, including yogurt—his favorite—and Ben was at the end of the row. After a while he began to feel nervous that there wouldn’t be enough. As the servers ladled the yogurt out, he nervously watched to see how much others were taking, feeling irritated with those who took more and happy with those who took less. Then suddenly he caught himself in the act, shouting, “Ben, look what you’re doing!” When finally the servers reached him he covered his bowl saying, “No! No! No more yogurt for this yogurt addict!”
    The point of reproach is to develop enough self-respect that when we catch ourselves getting hooked in familiar ways we can stop. We aren’t disciplining our