The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It by Valerie Young Page A

your best efforts to protect yourself failed and you are publically revealed to be a fraud.
    Take a few moments now to quiet yourself and tune into your owncrusher. Giving voice to your crusher statement can be an intense emotional experience. At the same time, you can’t change what you don’t understand. Tough as this step can be, it is essential to expose this false belief to the light of day so it can be seen for the lie that it is. I know your crusher feels true.
But you can’t believe everything you think
. The real truth is this:
    WITHOUT EXCEPTION,
ALL
CRUSHERS ARE LIES.
YOURS INCLUDED.
    I don’t expect you to fully believe this—at least not right away. Right now all I want you to do is become consciously aware of the lie you’ve avoided confronting up until now.
What’s All This Protection Costing You?
    The good news is that your coping and protecting behaviors really do keep you safe from harm. They help you escape the humiliation of being discovered and having to confront the pain of your crusher. At the same time, as the adage goes: You never get something for nothing. Even though your pattern serves a protective function, we always pay a
price
for that protection.
    The way to hone in on your pattern cost is to ask these questions: What will happen if I never change this pattern? What price would I pay? What opportunities would I miss? What options or possibilities would be closed to me?
    Some of the costs are the same for all impostors—things like living with the anxiety of waiting for the other shoe to drop or allowing your fraud fears to, in the words of one workshop participant, “steal the joy of the ride.” Others are highly specific to you and your situation and may include things like
If I don’t finish my research, I’ll never graduate or get tenure
or
If I keep procrastinating, I’ll miss my chance to get the job in France
. See if any of these costs resonate with you:
    If I never change this pattern …
        • I’ll only get safe, dead-end jobs that don’t fully utilize my gifts and passions.
        • My health will suffer.
        • I will live with the regret of never knowing how far my talents and effort could have taken me.
    The price I would pay is …
        • Unnecessary psychological stress and fatigue.
        • I’ll earn less money, which will limit me from doing things I want to do in life.
        • I won’t get to meet valuable mentors and contacts who can help me achieve my goals.
        • I won’t have the chance to learn from my mistakes so I can really grow.
        • I’ll never get recognition for my work.
        • I’ll never know what it’s like to really feel and own my successes and then build on them.
    The opportunities I would miss would be …
        • The satisfaction of taking risks—win or lose, knowing I tried.
        • Learning new things about myself and the world.
        • Receiving valuable feedback—both positive and critical—that I need to grow and improve.
        • I’ll never learn what I need to know to advance in my field.
        • The excitement, challenge, and growth involved in flexing my mind and enjoying my own progress.
    The options and possibilities that would be closed to me would be …
        • The option of taking my career (or business) to the level I know it can reach.
        • Other more challenging and satisfying job possibilities.
        • Gaining the experience I need to further my reputation.
        • The chance to make a positive difference in the world.
    Now it’s your turn to decide for yourself: What would happen if you never changed your coping and protecting behavior? What price would you pay? What opportunities would you miss out on? What options and possibilities would be closed to you?
    You already knew that the impostor syndrome was a huge drag on your energy and potential. However, if I’d asked you before to outline exactly what