The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women by Tristan Taormino Page A

withdraw the beads slowly and gently—pulling the entire string of beads out in one motion too quickly could be uncomfortable. As with any other toy, experiment and find out what works best for you.

Butt Plugs
    “What’s the big deal about a butt plug?” I get that question a lot, followed inevitably by: “It just plugs the butt? You mean it doesn’t light up or spin while it’s in there? It can’t burn CDs or store data? It’s not a two-way pager or a Play Station external device?” A butt plug does exactly what it sounds like it does. It’s designed to slide into your ass and stay put. In our culture, people have grown so accustomed to everything having bells and whistles that a basic task-oriented sex toy baffles them. Sure there are dildos that
glow in the dark, vibrators that masquerade as lipsticks, and battery-operated toys with twenty different settings. But sometimes less is more, and such is the case with the deceptively simple joy of a butt plug.
    Designed with the butt in mind, butt plugs are usually narrowest at the top, thickest in the middle, and narrow just above the base, which is flared. The traditional shape of a butt plug looks like a teardrop with a thicker bottom, or a skinny pear; they can also resemble diamond or phallic shapes. Above the wide flared base, the plug’s neck has the smallest circumference, designed to allow the sphincter muscles to close around it. Remember that we are all built slightly differently, so the ideal plug shape for one person may not work for another. For example, when I designed the Tristan plug with Vixen Creations, we created a shape that would go in and stay in, especially if you wanted to keep it in for a while. It was designed for the widest part of the plug to slip just past the sphincter muscles so the plug would rest snuggly inside. A friend of mine tried it, and told me that rather than doing that, in her ass, it seemed to rest right at the sphincter muscle, which was very uncomfortable. Her internal geography just was not compatible with the toy’s shape.

    Illustration 9: Anal Toys

    ASK THE ANAL ADVISOR: Vegetables
    Q: I’m twenty-nine years old, and I have been putting things up my ass for about ten years now. I’ve worked my way up to take the equivalent of three cucumbers. The last time I put things up my ass, the most bizarre thing happened, and it happened once before about a year ago. I like watery vegetables because I feel like I need less lube and my ass gets a “wet silk” feeling from them. After I inserted a peeled cucumber, I had this allergic reaction all over my body. The same thing happened last year with a carrot. Nothing grave, just red, itchy skin and swollen eyes, et cetera, which went away in about an hour. I know what it is since I’ve been allergic to lots of stuff since I was a child and still have serious hay fever. Is it the absorption of the vegetable juices by my rectum that causes the allergy or something else?
     
    A: There is a reason that household objects are household objects; they each have a purpose, and it’s not sexual. I am thrilled that you’ve discovered anal penetration as part of your masturbation ritual, but I really don’t want to encourage you to grab the hairbrush, the shampoo bottle, the cucumber, or anything else lying around. Has it been done? Of course, but I don’t condone it. Of all food allergies, allergies to vegetables are not as common as others, however there is some research that shows that certain foods—including melon, banana, zucchini, and cucumber—as well as the popular herb chamomile, can aggravate ragweed allergies. Symptoms include itching and tingling of the mouth, lips, throat, and ears, and in more serious cases, the swelling of tissue or anaphylactic shock. You said that you have allergies and hay fever, so my guess is that you’re allergic to ragweed, and some of the vegetables you’re sticking up your ass are exacerbating this allergy. I really recommend that you