professional world bearable, and you shouldnât try to make do without them.
The ideal time to scout out potential work friendships is at the start of a new job. When your boss introduces you to the other members of your team, make a note of people your age who look friendly. Take them up on their offers to help you. Maybe you already know how to order business cards, but thereâs no harm in finding an excuse to talk to your new coworkers. If someone asks you to get a cup of coffee, go gladly, but donât jump at the chance for a friend so quickly that you end up spending all of your time with one particular person. Because youâre unfamiliar with peopleâs allegiances, you need to avoid aligning yourself with a single colleague or group of colleagues. In your first month, you should aim to know a little about a lot of people rather than the other way around.
Once youâre established in the department, make an effort to get to know potential work friends personally. This can be intimidating and even somewhat difficult if your office is full of cliques. Itâs possible that a group of yourcoworkers will go out to happy hour and leave you sitting at your desk feeling like the new kid in third grade all over again. The only way to break through work social groups is one person at a time. Zero in on the most approachable person in the group, find out what interests him, and then weave these things into a conversation. For example, if you see that your next-door neighbor has a Nerf basketball net in his cube, you might ask him if he caught the Final Four game last night. People love to talk about themselves, so encourage potential friends to tell you about their lives. Listen to what they say, and talk about yourself only if asked. Doing someone a favor is also a good friend-making strategy. Suppose one of your teammates is frantically looking for a last-minute pet sitter while she goes out of town on business. If you live in her neighborhood, graciously offer to feed her cats. Your teammate wonât forget this act of goodwill, and will be likely to view you favorably in the future.
Sometimes team members will be nonresponsive to your gestures of friendship. Donât take it personally. Your departmentâs culture might encourage people to keep to themselves, or you and your coworkers might not have much in common. If this is the case, expand your search to the rest of the company. Perhaps you should get to know the girl from accounting a little better. What about that guy who always rides the elevator with you in the morning?
In addition, check with human resources to see if your company sponsors out-of-office activities, such as sports teams, travel clubs, or volunteer and charity initiatives that allow you to express your sense of social responsibility. Sign up for âextracurricularsâ that catch your eye, and commit to attending events. Once youâre there, find someone you know, and ask him to introduce you around. Remember, as with everything in the business world, new work friendships require follow-up. When you meet someone interesting, think of an excuse to drop him an email afterward. Youâll remind him who you are and encourage him to make contact again.
A word on dating at work: Donât go out with someone in your company unless you can handle seeing that person every day if the relationship doesnât work out. Definitely avoid dating your boss or anyone on your immediate team. Even if you end up marrying that person, it wonât be worth the career complications. The best idea? Get your colleagues to introduce you to their single friends!
Work Friends vs. Real Friends
I will never forget the day I was standing on the corner of 43rd Street and Broadway in New York City with my coworker Laura. Laura and I had been through a lot together in the year we had worked on the same public relations account team. We had coped with ego-obsessed executives and
The ideal time to scout out potential work friendships is at the start of a new job. When your boss introduces you to the other members of your team, make a note of people your age who look friendly. Take them up on their offers to help you. Maybe you already know how to order business cards, but thereâs no harm in finding an excuse to talk to your new coworkers. If someone asks you to get a cup of coffee, go gladly, but donât jump at the chance for a friend so quickly that you end up spending all of your time with one particular person. Because youâre unfamiliar with peopleâs allegiances, you need to avoid aligning yourself with a single colleague or group of colleagues. In your first month, you should aim to know a little about a lot of people rather than the other way around.
Once youâre established in the department, make an effort to get to know potential work friends personally. This can be intimidating and even somewhat difficult if your office is full of cliques. Itâs possible that a group of yourcoworkers will go out to happy hour and leave you sitting at your desk feeling like the new kid in third grade all over again. The only way to break through work social groups is one person at a time. Zero in on the most approachable person in the group, find out what interests him, and then weave these things into a conversation. For example, if you see that your next-door neighbor has a Nerf basketball net in his cube, you might ask him if he caught the Final Four game last night. People love to talk about themselves, so encourage potential friends to tell you about their lives. Listen to what they say, and talk about yourself only if asked. Doing someone a favor is also a good friend-making strategy. Suppose one of your teammates is frantically looking for a last-minute pet sitter while she goes out of town on business. If you live in her neighborhood, graciously offer to feed her cats. Your teammate wonât forget this act of goodwill, and will be likely to view you favorably in the future.
Sometimes team members will be nonresponsive to your gestures of friendship. Donât take it personally. Your departmentâs culture might encourage people to keep to themselves, or you and your coworkers might not have much in common. If this is the case, expand your search to the rest of the company. Perhaps you should get to know the girl from accounting a little better. What about that guy who always rides the elevator with you in the morning?
In addition, check with human resources to see if your company sponsors out-of-office activities, such as sports teams, travel clubs, or volunteer and charity initiatives that allow you to express your sense of social responsibility. Sign up for âextracurricularsâ that catch your eye, and commit to attending events. Once youâre there, find someone you know, and ask him to introduce you around. Remember, as with everything in the business world, new work friendships require follow-up. When you meet someone interesting, think of an excuse to drop him an email afterward. Youâll remind him who you are and encourage him to make contact again.
A word on dating at work: Donât go out with someone in your company unless you can handle seeing that person every day if the relationship doesnât work out. Definitely avoid dating your boss or anyone on your immediate team. Even if you end up marrying that person, it wonât be worth the career complications. The best idea? Get your colleagues to introduce you to their single friends!
Work Friends vs. Real Friends
I will never forget the day I was standing on the corner of 43rd Street and Broadway in New York City with my coworker Laura. Laura and I had been through a lot together in the year we had worked on the same public relations account team. We had coped with ego-obsessed executives and
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