Thousand Words by Jennifer Brown

sure if he was addressing me or Mom or Tina or all of us.
    “Of course,” Tina said, her hair shivering every time her mouth opened. “I hope he’ll have an open mind, too.”
    Mr. Frank gave a half-nod, then opened the door and gestured for us to go in.
    Tina turned to me. “You ready?” she asked, and attempted a sympathetic smile, though it looked so uncomfortable on her, I guessed she wasn’t used to making gentle overtures. I nodded, and Mom reached over and squeezed my hand.
    Kaleb sat at the far end of the long table, a soda and a piece of paper in front of him. I paused, waiting for something to happen. For my heartbeat to speed up or my throat to constrict or my belly to wobble or rage to well up in me or… anything.
    But he appeared so small. And skinny, very skinny. He had definitely lost weight since I’d last seen him. And he had dark circles under his eyes. He barely resembled the Kaleb I’d once kissed. He looked a lot older, and like he was sick. All I could feel was shock that this was my ex-boyfriend.
    He watched us as we walked in, but he made no move. His hands remained in his lap, his paper and soda remained untouched. He showed no emotion on his face. And I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. Even though I knew there were three other people in the room, it was as if my gaze had simply zoned in on him and we were the only two there.
    Mr. Frank came in and shut the door behind him, moving briskly to a chair at Kaleb’s side and folding his hands on the table.
    “You sure I can’t get you anything?” Mr. Frank asked Mom and me, and again we mumbled “no.” “Okay, well, we don’t want to drag this out,” he said. “Mr. Coats feels that he should apologize to you for his part in what happened, and he has prepared a statement to that effect. Kaleb?”
    His part in what happened
, I thought sourly.
His part was every part of what happened. Without his part, nothing would have happened.
    Kaleb gazed at his attorney and then slowly, slowlypicked up his paper. It wiggled in the air and I knew his hands were shaking. I found a tiny bit of joy in that. He cleared his throat.
    “Ashleigh and Mr. and Mrs. Maynard,” he said. He paused, made eye contact, looked back down. “I mean, I guess just… uh, Mrs. Maynard. The past few months have not been easy for me, as I am sure they have not been for you, either. I have had a lot of time to think about what I did, and it has come to my attention that I owe you all an apology. Mrs. Maynard, I am sorry that I have brought embarrassment to your family. I realize that my actions have caused you hardship in your professional life as well as your personal life, and I am very sorry.” He paused and made eye contact again, and I was surprised to see Mom nod at him, not unkindly.
    “Thank you,” she said quietly. She didn’t add that his apology was accepted, and I knew that with Mom that was purposeful—that his apology wasn’t accepted, because a few rehearsed sentences weren’t good enough. Not for what he’d done to our family. Not for what he’d done to my dad’s job.
    Kaleb shifted his eyes to me, and for the first time I did feel something. Something—I don’t know—nostalgic. A longing for what once was. I realized how much I had really grown to hate him, and how much I wished I hadn’t had to. But I knew I’d never have him back. I’d never have us back, not the way we used to be. It wouldn’t be possible after everything that had happened. I wanted to have that innocenceback—the kind of innocence where I would never believe that a boy I loved would hurt me.
    He cleared his throat again, adjusted the paper in his hands. “Ashleigh, I know I’ve caused you a lot of pain. I have violated your trust and your sense of privacy, and I am sorry. I am also sorry for all of the things that you’ve had to go through. I’m sorry that people have been saying things about you and that you have to do community service, because you never