on âlobby,â which was how to wash the tables and sweep the floor, change the garbage, and keep the washrooms tidy. Next I was trained on âwindow,â which means learning how to use the front till and take orders from customers. I liked that job much better because I could actually interact with people, but I found that even though I was going as fast as I could, people were very impatient and eager to get their food and get out of there. After my first few shifts I came home tired from trying to remember everything.
I reek of oil from the deep fryers after each shift. I often wash my uniform in the sink with soap because I canât stand the smell. The nearest laundromat is blocks away and I canât afford to go down there and wash my uniform that much. I usually work the supper shift anyhow, and there isnât enough time to get down there to wash clothes between the time when school ends and when I start work.
Iâve been getting to know some of the other employees. Most are young and starting out in their first job. Surprisingly, Iâm finding that I really enjoy it. I take pride in doing my job well and my managers comment on my good work ethic. I thrive on the praise.
Although I tend to work mostly in the evenings, it sometimes varies: early mornings, afternoons, late nights. My favourite is the early morning, when the seniors come in. I am fascinated by how they come day after day, meeting their friends for coffee dates that last several hours. I make sure to remember the orders of the regulars before they can say them, and they smile in appreciation each time.
I search their faces, seeing the wisdom of their years. I hope that by that age, life will be easier. Maybe by then I will have it all figured out. I am so full of questions and have so few answers.
My least favourite shift is the late nights. I hate walking home afterwards. The restaurant has a policy where they pay for cabs for the female staff to get home after midnight, but because I live so close, I canât justify the expense. Even the two-block walk home feels harrowing at times in this neighbourhood.
While other parts of the city are quiet with residents tucked into their beds, this neighbourhood tends to come alive late at night. Homes that looked closed up and abandoned pulse with life after dark: doors and windows are left open, visitors stream in and out. People sit on the front steps or across the lawn, often drinking. There are groups of people walking around everywhere. Sounds of cars rumbling and people yelling are commonplace. There are often domestic disputes, a lively party or bored teens up to no good. I walk quickly and determined with my hands in my pockets and my head tucked down into the hood of my jacket. I cross the street at the sign of anyone coming my way. Many nights I take a longer route to get home just to avoid groups of people.
But Iâve found that Iâve settled into a manageable kind of life. I am working hard and I have a decent place to live. I know the loneliness will be quelled in a few days when Trina arrives. Maybe things really are looking up.
Chapter 16
February 2005
I am walking with Marcus. It is late at night and the others are in the park, drinking. Marcus asked me to come with him to his house and I am thrilled to have some time alone with him without everyone watching our every move. Heâs gripping my hand tight and keeps kissing my temple as we walk, his tall body leaning down to me easily. Iâm shivering again, both from the cold and the butterflies in my stomach. I have no idea where Marcus lives or how far it is.
We walk quite a few blocks and my feet feel frozen in my thin running shoes. It is forty below with the wind chill and my ears are searing with pain from the exposure. Iâm trying to make small talk, but my lips are having a hard time forming sentences and I can feel something like ice crystals forming in my nostrils making it harder to
I reek of oil from the deep fryers after each shift. I often wash my uniform in the sink with soap because I canât stand the smell. The nearest laundromat is blocks away and I canât afford to go down there and wash my uniform that much. I usually work the supper shift anyhow, and there isnât enough time to get down there to wash clothes between the time when school ends and when I start work.
Iâve been getting to know some of the other employees. Most are young and starting out in their first job. Surprisingly, Iâm finding that I really enjoy it. I take pride in doing my job well and my managers comment on my good work ethic. I thrive on the praise.
Although I tend to work mostly in the evenings, it sometimes varies: early mornings, afternoons, late nights. My favourite is the early morning, when the seniors come in. I am fascinated by how they come day after day, meeting their friends for coffee dates that last several hours. I make sure to remember the orders of the regulars before they can say them, and they smile in appreciation each time.
I search their faces, seeing the wisdom of their years. I hope that by that age, life will be easier. Maybe by then I will have it all figured out. I am so full of questions and have so few answers.
My least favourite shift is the late nights. I hate walking home afterwards. The restaurant has a policy where they pay for cabs for the female staff to get home after midnight, but because I live so close, I canât justify the expense. Even the two-block walk home feels harrowing at times in this neighbourhood.
While other parts of the city are quiet with residents tucked into their beds, this neighbourhood tends to come alive late at night. Homes that looked closed up and abandoned pulse with life after dark: doors and windows are left open, visitors stream in and out. People sit on the front steps or across the lawn, often drinking. There are groups of people walking around everywhere. Sounds of cars rumbling and people yelling are commonplace. There are often domestic disputes, a lively party or bored teens up to no good. I walk quickly and determined with my hands in my pockets and my head tucked down into the hood of my jacket. I cross the street at the sign of anyone coming my way. Many nights I take a longer route to get home just to avoid groups of people.
But Iâve found that Iâve settled into a manageable kind of life. I am working hard and I have a decent place to live. I know the loneliness will be quelled in a few days when Trina arrives. Maybe things really are looking up.
Chapter 16
February 2005
I am walking with Marcus. It is late at night and the others are in the park, drinking. Marcus asked me to come with him to his house and I am thrilled to have some time alone with him without everyone watching our every move. Heâs gripping my hand tight and keeps kissing my temple as we walk, his tall body leaning down to me easily. Iâm shivering again, both from the cold and the butterflies in my stomach. I have no idea where Marcus lives or how far it is.
We walk quite a few blocks and my feet feel frozen in my thin running shoes. It is forty below with the wind chill and my ears are searing with pain from the exposure. Iâm trying to make small talk, but my lips are having a hard time forming sentences and I can feel something like ice crystals forming in my nostrils making it harder to
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