Thug Kitchen: The Official Cookbook: Eat Like You Give a F*ck by Thug Kitchen Page A
Book: Thug Kitchen: The Official Cookbook: Eat Like You Give a F*ck by Thug Kitchen
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Authors: Thug Kitchen
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and bell pepper into pieces about the size of a chickpea. Mince the garlic and jalapeños. Now you’re ready to get down to business.
2 Grab a large soup pot and sauté the onion in the oil until it starts to look a little see-through, about 2 minutes. Add the carrot and bell pepper and cook until everything is golden, another 3 minutes. Add the jalapeños, garlic, spices, and salt and cook for another 30 seconds. This should smell pretty goddamn dope right about now. Add the diced tomatoes and tomato paste. Make sure that you stir that son of a bitch around enough so that the paste isn’t just sitting in a clump. Add the broth and let that all come to a simmer.
3 Now it’s time to take this motherfucker up a notch. Add the lime juice and tortilla squares. Stir everything up and let that all gently simmer together until the tortillas get nice and soft, about 10 minutes. Now turn off the heat and grab your immersion blender and pulverize that bastard until it’s nice and smooth. If you don’t have an immersion blender, you can throw this all in your regular blender in batches too. Your call. Taste and add more of whatever you think it needs.
4 Serve this up with chickpeas piled in the center of each bowl, with chunks of avocado, some minced jalapeño, and some cilantro. Chip shake is welcome, too.
*
Regular or fire-roasted would be dope here
.
**
If you like a thicker soup, go with 8
.
***
Or one 15-ounce can
CHICKPEAS AND DUMPLINGS
This stew is thick and our personal favorite. If you’ve never had some version of this Southern staple, then GET THE FUCK ON IT. These dumplings are rolled out like delicious fluffy noodle things and not just those shitty drop dumplings other people use. Yeah, that’s right. Shots fired in the dumpling wars.
MAKES ENOUGH FOR 6 HUNGRY MOTHERFUCKERS
DUMPLINGS
1 bunch of chives
2 cups all-purpose flour*
2 teaspoons baking powder
¾ teaspoon garlic powder
¼ teaspoon salt
½ to 1 tablespoon olive oil
½ to 1 cup unsweetened plain almond milk
SOUP
5 to 7 leaves of kale**
2 sweet onions, chopped into bite-size pieces
2 carrots, chopped into bite-size pieces
3 ribs of celery, chopped into bite-size pieces
1 small crown of broccoli, chopped into bite-size pieces
3 to 4 cloves garlic, minced
2 teaspoons plus ¼ cup olive oil
Salt
2½ teaspoons dried oregano
1 teaspoon garlic powder
½ teaspoon ground black pepper
¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper
7 tablespoons all-purpose flour
½ cup white wine***
10 cups vegetable broth
3 cups cooked chickpeas****
1½ cups frozen green peas
1 First thing, make the fucking dumplings. Chop up the chives into little pieces and set them aside. Add the flour to a medium bowl and whisk in the baking powder, garlic powder, and salt. Drizzle in the olive oil and mix it all up. Add ½ cup of the milk and stir it all together. If your dough still looks really dry, add a couple tablespoons of the rest of the milk until you can form a kind of shaggy ball. If you add too much milk, the dough will be sticky and hard to handle, so slow your ass down. Knead in ¼ cup of the chopped chives, making sure they are all mixed in and the dough looks like it has its shit together. (Set the rest of the chives aside.)
2 On a well floured surface, roll out the dough about 1 ⁄ 8 inch thick. (Think thin crust pizza.) Cut the dumplings into pieces about 1 inch wide and 1½ inches long. You will have some fucked up sizes because that’s how shit is, but don’t stress. They will be fine. You should get around 70 dumplings. Stack them up on a floured plate and stick them in the fridge uncovered.
3 Make the soup: Remove the hard stems from the kale and slice those leaves into 1-inch ribbons. Set aside until the very end. In a large soup pot, heat up the 2 teaspoons oil over medium heat. Add the onions and a pinch of salt and sauté until the onions start to brown, 5 to 7 minutes. Add the carrots and celery and cook for another 3 minutes. Add the broccoli and
2 Grab a large soup pot and sauté the onion in the oil until it starts to look a little see-through, about 2 minutes. Add the carrot and bell pepper and cook until everything is golden, another 3 minutes. Add the jalapeños, garlic, spices, and salt and cook for another 30 seconds. This should smell pretty goddamn dope right about now. Add the diced tomatoes and tomato paste. Make sure that you stir that son of a bitch around enough so that the paste isn’t just sitting in a clump. Add the broth and let that all come to a simmer.
3 Now it’s time to take this motherfucker up a notch. Add the lime juice and tortilla squares. Stir everything up and let that all gently simmer together until the tortillas get nice and soft, about 10 minutes. Now turn off the heat and grab your immersion blender and pulverize that bastard until it’s nice and smooth. If you don’t have an immersion blender, you can throw this all in your regular blender in batches too. Your call. Taste and add more of whatever you think it needs.
4 Serve this up with chickpeas piled in the center of each bowl, with chunks of avocado, some minced jalapeño, and some cilantro. Chip shake is welcome, too.
*
Regular or fire-roasted would be dope here
.
**
If you like a thicker soup, go with 8
.
***
Or one 15-ounce can
CHICKPEAS AND DUMPLINGS
This stew is thick and our personal favorite. If you’ve never had some version of this Southern staple, then GET THE FUCK ON IT. These dumplings are rolled out like delicious fluffy noodle things and not just those shitty drop dumplings other people use. Yeah, that’s right. Shots fired in the dumpling wars.
MAKES ENOUGH FOR 6 HUNGRY MOTHERFUCKERS
DUMPLINGS
1 bunch of chives
2 cups all-purpose flour*
2 teaspoons baking powder
¾ teaspoon garlic powder
¼ teaspoon salt
½ to 1 tablespoon olive oil
½ to 1 cup unsweetened plain almond milk
SOUP
5 to 7 leaves of kale**
2 sweet onions, chopped into bite-size pieces
2 carrots, chopped into bite-size pieces
3 ribs of celery, chopped into bite-size pieces
1 small crown of broccoli, chopped into bite-size pieces
3 to 4 cloves garlic, minced
2 teaspoons plus ¼ cup olive oil
Salt
2½ teaspoons dried oregano
1 teaspoon garlic powder
½ teaspoon ground black pepper
¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper
7 tablespoons all-purpose flour
½ cup white wine***
10 cups vegetable broth
3 cups cooked chickpeas****
1½ cups frozen green peas
1 First thing, make the fucking dumplings. Chop up the chives into little pieces and set them aside. Add the flour to a medium bowl and whisk in the baking powder, garlic powder, and salt. Drizzle in the olive oil and mix it all up. Add ½ cup of the milk and stir it all together. If your dough still looks really dry, add a couple tablespoons of the rest of the milk until you can form a kind of shaggy ball. If you add too much milk, the dough will be sticky and hard to handle, so slow your ass down. Knead in ¼ cup of the chopped chives, making sure they are all mixed in and the dough looks like it has its shit together. (Set the rest of the chives aside.)
2 On a well floured surface, roll out the dough about 1 ⁄ 8 inch thick. (Think thin crust pizza.) Cut the dumplings into pieces about 1 inch wide and 1½ inches long. You will have some fucked up sizes because that’s how shit is, but don’t stress. They will be fine. You should get around 70 dumplings. Stack them up on a floured plate and stick them in the fridge uncovered.
3 Make the soup: Remove the hard stems from the kale and slice those leaves into 1-inch ribbons. Set aside until the very end. In a large soup pot, heat up the 2 teaspoons oil over medium heat. Add the onions and a pinch of salt and sauté until the onions start to brown, 5 to 7 minutes. Add the carrots and celery and cook for another 3 minutes. Add the broccoli and
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