Thug Kitchen: The Official Cookbook: Eat Like You Give a F*ck by Thug Kitchen Page B
Book: Thug Kitchen: The Official Cookbook: Eat Like You Give a F*ck by Thug Kitchen
Read Free Book Online
Authors: Thug Kitchen
Ads: Link
garlic and cook until the carrots are getting soft but the broccoli still has some bite, another 3 minutes. Turn off the heat and dump all that shit into a medium bowl and set it aside. Make sure to scrape out all the veggies because you are reusing that pot. Fuck extra dishes.
4 Mix the oregano, garlic powder, black pepper, cayenne pepper, and ¼ teaspoon salt together in a small cup. Warm that soup pot back up over medium heat, add the remaining ¼ cup oil, and whisk in the flour. It should look somewhere between glue and runny paste. Yum? Keep stirring that shit around until it smells kinda nutty and looks a little toasted, about 2 minutes. Toss in the spice mixture and keep stirring for another 30 seconds. Whisk in the white wine. The flour will ball up with the wine and make it look like frosting or some shit like that. Slowly whisk in 2 cups of the broth. Mix that up until it is all incorporated and starts to look thick, like movie theater nacho cheese. Slowly whisk in the next 4 cups of broth and make sure it’s smooth with no chunks of flour. Whisk in the remaining 4 cups broth and let it simmer, whisking every minute or so, for about 15 minutes. The broth should thicken up and start to look and taste kind of velvety. You know what the fuck we are talking about. Try it. Fucking awesomeness without 2 sticks of butter.
5 With the pot still simmering, add the dumplings a couple at a time so they don’t get all stuck together in a clusterfuck of dough and dying dreams. Once they are all in, gently stir them around once so that everybody is bobbing around in the broth. Let them simmer together for 3 minutes so that the pot gets a chance to warm back up. Add the chickpeas and sautéed veggies and let them all simmer together for about 10 more minutes or until the dumplings don’t taste raw.
6 Once your dumplings are on point, add the green peas and sliced kale. Yeah, that’s right, just dump the peas in frozen because who gives a fuck? Cook for another 2 minutes so that the peas warm up and the kale wilts. Turn off the heat and throw in ¼ cup of those chives from earlier. Taste that shit and see if you want more herbs, spices, or salt to get it where you love it. Serve immediately and top the bowls with some of whatever chives you have left.
*
Whole wheat flour is a little too dense for these fuckers, but give it a go if that’s what you got and you are feeling brave
.
**
Spinach or collards will work here too
.
***
Whateverthefuck you like to drink will work. Out of wine? Just use broth
.
****
About two 15-ounce cans if you aren’t cooking your own
.
WEDDING SOUP WITH WHITE BEAN BALLS AND KALE
Combining this soup’s ingredients makes a flavor commitment so strong that it’s in the fucking name. Once you taste it, you’ll vow to never go another cold day without a bowl of this in your life.
MAKES ENOUGH FOR 6 PEOPLE WHO CAME HUNGRY
WHITE BEAN BALLS
Cooking spray
1 large yellow onion
3 cups cooked white or cannellini beans*
½ cup whole wheat bread crumbs
3 cloves garlic, minced
¼ cup nutritional yeast or flour
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon soy sauce or tamari
2 teaspoons no-salt, all-purpose seasoning blend
1 teaspoon each dried thyme, basil, and oregano
½ teaspoon grated lemon zest
SOUP
1 teaspoon olive oil
2 carrots, chopped
2 ribs celery, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup small dried pasta**
9 cups vegetable broth
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
4 cups chopped kale or other dark, leafy greens
¼ teaspoon each salt and ground pepper
¼ cup chopped fresh parsley or basil
1 Crank your oven to 400°F. Coat a baking sheet with cooking spray.
2 Now, make the bean balls. Chop up the onion and measure out ¼ cup. Save the rest but push it to the side; we’ll use that shit in a bit. Mash up the beans in a large bowl until they form a paste. Some whole bean bits are cool, but try to keep that shit to a minimum. Stir in the rest of the ingredients including the ¼ cup
4 Mix the oregano, garlic powder, black pepper, cayenne pepper, and ¼ teaspoon salt together in a small cup. Warm that soup pot back up over medium heat, add the remaining ¼ cup oil, and whisk in the flour. It should look somewhere between glue and runny paste. Yum? Keep stirring that shit around until it smells kinda nutty and looks a little toasted, about 2 minutes. Toss in the spice mixture and keep stirring for another 30 seconds. Whisk in the white wine. The flour will ball up with the wine and make it look like frosting or some shit like that. Slowly whisk in 2 cups of the broth. Mix that up until it is all incorporated and starts to look thick, like movie theater nacho cheese. Slowly whisk in the next 4 cups of broth and make sure it’s smooth with no chunks of flour. Whisk in the remaining 4 cups broth and let it simmer, whisking every minute or so, for about 15 minutes. The broth should thicken up and start to look and taste kind of velvety. You know what the fuck we are talking about. Try it. Fucking awesomeness without 2 sticks of butter.
5 With the pot still simmering, add the dumplings a couple at a time so they don’t get all stuck together in a clusterfuck of dough and dying dreams. Once they are all in, gently stir them around once so that everybody is bobbing around in the broth. Let them simmer together for 3 minutes so that the pot gets a chance to warm back up. Add the chickpeas and sautéed veggies and let them all simmer together for about 10 more minutes or until the dumplings don’t taste raw.
6 Once your dumplings are on point, add the green peas and sliced kale. Yeah, that’s right, just dump the peas in frozen because who gives a fuck? Cook for another 2 minutes so that the peas warm up and the kale wilts. Turn off the heat and throw in ¼ cup of those chives from earlier. Taste that shit and see if you want more herbs, spices, or salt to get it where you love it. Serve immediately and top the bowls with some of whatever chives you have left.
*
Whole wheat flour is a little too dense for these fuckers, but give it a go if that’s what you got and you are feeling brave
.
**
Spinach or collards will work here too
.
***
Whateverthefuck you like to drink will work. Out of wine? Just use broth
.
****
About two 15-ounce cans if you aren’t cooking your own
.
WEDDING SOUP WITH WHITE BEAN BALLS AND KALE
Combining this soup’s ingredients makes a flavor commitment so strong that it’s in the fucking name. Once you taste it, you’ll vow to never go another cold day without a bowl of this in your life.
MAKES ENOUGH FOR 6 PEOPLE WHO CAME HUNGRY
WHITE BEAN BALLS
Cooking spray
1 large yellow onion
3 cups cooked white or cannellini beans*
½ cup whole wheat bread crumbs
3 cloves garlic, minced
¼ cup nutritional yeast or flour
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon soy sauce or tamari
2 teaspoons no-salt, all-purpose seasoning blend
1 teaspoon each dried thyme, basil, and oregano
½ teaspoon grated lemon zest
SOUP
1 teaspoon olive oil
2 carrots, chopped
2 ribs celery, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup small dried pasta**
9 cups vegetable broth
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
4 cups chopped kale or other dark, leafy greens
¼ teaspoon each salt and ground pepper
¼ cup chopped fresh parsley or basil
1 Crank your oven to 400°F. Coat a baking sheet with cooking spray.
2 Now, make the bean balls. Chop up the onion and measure out ¼ cup. Save the rest but push it to the side; we’ll use that shit in a bit. Mash up the beans in a large bowl until they form a paste. Some whole bean bits are cool, but try to keep that shit to a minimum. Stir in the rest of the ingredients including the ¼ cup
Similar Books
