To Probe A Beating Heart by John B Wren Page A

repetitions at almost any exercise, he had it. Averell went to the first practice and the coaches knew what he could do with a score book for the baseball team. He could probably do the same with a basketball score book and he was warmly welcomed as a member of the team. As it turned out, Averell’s value was more as a bookkeeper than a equipment caretaker, but he did both jobs and enjoyed it. The two boys, Jimmy and Averell, were locked in for the season. Sports at this age were not near as serious as they would be later on. At this point, the objective was to learn and have fun and that’s what they did. The team was not all that good, but all of the boys involved with the team enjoyed the season. They played their games twice a week on Tuesdays and Friday afternoons. Half of the games were at their school and the others were at one of the other local schools. There were no extended trips and the boys were home by seven when they had an away game. The season was broken by the winter break when a great number of people traveled to visit relatives. Jimmy and his family drove to Philadelphia to visit his mother’s family and Averell stayed home. Ellie was not big on holidays and especially did not like buying presents for Averell, whether it was his birthday or Christmas. She usually picked up a handful of books and Averell appreciated the gesture. This year was no different. Averell was given five books that dealt with animals and baseball while Sarah had a pile of clothes and toys. Once again Sarah delighted in telling Averell that she was the favorite and “Mommy hates you.”
                  January and the resumption of school couldn’t have come soon enough. Averell was again involved with the basketball team and spent as much time away from the house as he could. As the winter snows melted and spring brought out the baseballs and bats, Averell and Jimmy were ready. The transition from one sport to the other was no problem for either of them. They were both now ten and felt like they had grown up, they were no longer little kids, they were young men. This season, Jimmy was given a uniform with a “C” on his shirt and Averell was again the team manager and all was well. This season, the game was taking on a more serious tone. The team was now playing harder, playing to win. Last year they played for fun and to learn. The lads on the team expected to be pulled out of a game if they made mistakes. The coaches stressed team work and winning this year. The games were more intense and more fun when they won. At the season’s end, their record was a little better than .500. They won more than they lost, but not enough to win their league, they actually finished third, which was not bad for a team that had never won that many games in a season.
                  When summer arrived and Jimmy was going to again play on a community league team and go to camp, Averell steeled himself for the duration. He once again visited the woods, found his hidden trap and tools and again took to catching small wild animals.
                  One day about mid-summer, when he heard his trap slam shut, he went to check and found that he had captured a cat. The animal had a collar and a tag, it was somebody’s pet. He did not read the tag, but he was curious, how might a cat be different from a squirrel or a rabbit. He was going to find out, he was excited about the prospect of probing a different animal, an animal that should not be afraid of people like a squirrel was. He’d never felt like this before. As he began his probing with the knife, the cat screamed and he dropped the cage. It had startled him, but he was not deterred. He regained his composure and the cage, secured the cat with the movable partition and proceeded with his probing. He ignored the cat’s screams and carried on, very deliberately, very carefully. It was precise, satisfying work, some things he could do that did not make the