you do that?”
“I don’t know when the funerals are going to be. I can’t even make myself go to the hospital or talk to the funeral home. I don’t know where I’ll get the money. We’ll have a memorial… later. After I get things figured out.”
“The right thing to do would be to let me help you figureout those things, not send me away. I didn’t get to say good-bye, Ronnie. I didn’t get to tell them…” I pressed my lips together, unable to go on.
There was so much I hadn’t gotten to tell them. So much I wanted to. So much I should have been able to.
But who was I kidding? Saying any of those things at their funerals wasn’t the same as saying them to my mother and sister. They were already gone. I’d already missed my chance.
“I’m sure Billie and Harold will bring you up for it,” he said.
“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. I hate you,” I said, and I meant it with every fiber of my body.
Ronnie slunk off to the bathroom and turned on the shower.
Desperate, I reached for my cell phone and dialed Dani.
“Hey,” she said. “I was just thinking about you.”
“Glad someone is,” I said. “I need your help.”
“What’s going on?”
“He’s sending me away,” I cried.
“Who is? Sending you away where?”
I pressed my forehead against the wallpaper—pineapples, how weird—feeling like I couldn’t breathe. “Ronnie. He’s sending me to live with my grandparents in Caster City.”
“No way. For how long?”
“I don’t know. Forever, I think,” I said. “He says he can’t take care of me. Help me, Dani.”
“He can’t send you away forever,” she said. “Can he? Is that, like, legal?”
“I don’t think he cares. I mean, they’re technically my family, so it probably is. But I don’t want to go. You’ve got to help me. Let me stay with you. Ask your mom.”
“She’s not home. You want me to call her?”
“Yes,” I said, but deep down I knew by the time she got ahold of her mom and called me back with an answer, it would be too late. They would have already come and taken me. I would be on my way to Caster City with people who were, according to my mom, cold as reptiles.
I hung up and continued to stuff things into my bag. I pulled out my Western Civ book and my math binder and threw them in the trash, keeping only
Bless the Beasts & Children
(
hint, hint, ladies and gentlemen!
) and a few pencils and pens. I rolled up the few clothes I had and crammed them inside the bag, cradling the porcelain kitten I’d brought from home. I pulled out Marin’s purse, running my fingers lightly over the fake leather.
I sat with it on my lap and waited, bitterly watching the TV rerun more footage of the tornado destruction. What the news crews couldn’t show was the real damage Elizabeth’s monster tornado had left behind. How do you record the wreckage left in someone’s heart? I pulled out a piece of gum and popped it into my mouth, then smoothed out the foil. I found a pen on the nightstand and drew a picture of a big stick figure holding a little stick figure.
Marin has a dad, I wrote beneath the picture, and then folded the foil into a tiny square and added it to the stash.
Marin has a dad.
Even in her death, she has a dad.
But I don’t.
I never did.
CHAPTER
TWELVE
As predicted, my grandparents arrived before Dani called back. She’d texted— Mom not picking up. Will keep trying —but it was too late to save me.
I refused to answer the knock on the door, forcing Ronnie to get up. He could send me away, but I wasn’t going to make it easy for him.
We hadn’t spoken since I’d told him I hated him. I didn’t know if he was staying silent in an attempt to make me feel guilty, but if so, it wasn’t working. If I’d been the one who’d died with Mom in the tornado, he would never have turned Marin out. He would never have sent her to live with strangers in a strange city.
He opened the door and a white-haired woman with a face
“I don’t know when the funerals are going to be. I can’t even make myself go to the hospital or talk to the funeral home. I don’t know where I’ll get the money. We’ll have a memorial… later. After I get things figured out.”
“The right thing to do would be to let me help you figureout those things, not send me away. I didn’t get to say good-bye, Ronnie. I didn’t get to tell them…” I pressed my lips together, unable to go on.
There was so much I hadn’t gotten to tell them. So much I wanted to. So much I should have been able to.
But who was I kidding? Saying any of those things at their funerals wasn’t the same as saying them to my mother and sister. They were already gone. I’d already missed my chance.
“I’m sure Billie and Harold will bring you up for it,” he said.
“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. I hate you,” I said, and I meant it with every fiber of my body.
Ronnie slunk off to the bathroom and turned on the shower.
Desperate, I reached for my cell phone and dialed Dani.
“Hey,” she said. “I was just thinking about you.”
“Glad someone is,” I said. “I need your help.”
“What’s going on?”
“He’s sending me away,” I cried.
“Who is? Sending you away where?”
I pressed my forehead against the wallpaper—pineapples, how weird—feeling like I couldn’t breathe. “Ronnie. He’s sending me to live with my grandparents in Caster City.”
“No way. For how long?”
“I don’t know. Forever, I think,” I said. “He says he can’t take care of me. Help me, Dani.”
“He can’t send you away forever,” she said. “Can he? Is that, like, legal?”
“I don’t think he cares. I mean, they’re technically my family, so it probably is. But I don’t want to go. You’ve got to help me. Let me stay with you. Ask your mom.”
“She’s not home. You want me to call her?”
“Yes,” I said, but deep down I knew by the time she got ahold of her mom and called me back with an answer, it would be too late. They would have already come and taken me. I would be on my way to Caster City with people who were, according to my mom, cold as reptiles.
I hung up and continued to stuff things into my bag. I pulled out my Western Civ book and my math binder and threw them in the trash, keeping only
Bless the Beasts & Children
(
hint, hint, ladies and gentlemen!
) and a few pencils and pens. I rolled up the few clothes I had and crammed them inside the bag, cradling the porcelain kitten I’d brought from home. I pulled out Marin’s purse, running my fingers lightly over the fake leather.
I sat with it on my lap and waited, bitterly watching the TV rerun more footage of the tornado destruction. What the news crews couldn’t show was the real damage Elizabeth’s monster tornado had left behind. How do you record the wreckage left in someone’s heart? I pulled out a piece of gum and popped it into my mouth, then smoothed out the foil. I found a pen on the nightstand and drew a picture of a big stick figure holding a little stick figure.
Marin has a dad, I wrote beneath the picture, and then folded the foil into a tiny square and added it to the stash.
Marin has a dad.
Even in her death, she has a dad.
But I don’t.
I never did.
CHAPTER
TWELVE
As predicted, my grandparents arrived before Dani called back. She’d texted— Mom not picking up. Will keep trying —but it was too late to save me.
I refused to answer the knock on the door, forcing Ronnie to get up. He could send me away, but I wasn’t going to make it easy for him.
We hadn’t spoken since I’d told him I hated him. I didn’t know if he was staying silent in an attempt to make me feel guilty, but if so, it wasn’t working. If I’d been the one who’d died with Mom in the tornado, he would never have turned Marin out. He would never have sent her to live with strangers in a strange city.
He opened the door and a white-haired woman with a face
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