Assertiveness for Earth Angels: How to Be Loving Instead of Too Nice by Doreen Virtue Page B

slightest provocation, and must immediately announce that they’re angry. Such a person has a short fuse and a hot temper. He or she may inflict emotional, verbal, or even physical pain on others. Angerholics always have a justification for why they’re angry, and rarely take responsibility themselves.
    â€” How this relationship affects you : As an Earth Angel who greatly dislikes conflict, you’re highly sensitive to the energy of anger. You therefore walk on eggshells around angry people. You do everything you can possibly think of to appease them. You may even take the blame for their anger, especially if they’re yelling that it’s all your fault.
    â€” How to handle this : Angerholics usually come from a dysfunctional family, and require professional therapy in order to confront their addiction to anger. For this reason, you and your love alone will not unravel their angry tendencies. These are people who get angry at everything. Release the fantasy that you’ll find the winning combination that will finally make them happy and peaceful. Stop bending over backward and twisting yourself into knots in order to please such a person. This is a relationship that you may need to leave or distance yourself from, unless the person commits to intense therapy.
    Unreliability
    Unreliable people promise to help you, but forget to follow through. They miss appointments with you, are never on time for your get-togethers, and can’t be counted on to honor their commitments.
    â€” How this relationship affects you : For the Earth Angel with low self-esteem, this relationship leaves you feeling unloved and not valued. You start to think that this is your fault, and that if only you were “better,” then this person would be more reliable. For an Earth Angel with high self-esteem, you realize that this is an unreliable person, and it’s not your fault. Therefore, this relationship may make you angry and prone to complain about your unreliable friend.
    â€” How to handle this : The assertive Earth Angel handles all situations directly. With the unreliable person, you must set firm and clear boundaries. The next time the person makes an appointment with you, explain that your time is valuable and that if he or she is not there within 15 minutes of the appointed time, you’ll need to leave. You must set boundaries with the person ahead of time, or you may end up feeling like a victim—which you’re not.
    Nosiness
    Busybodies entertain themselves by putting their noses into everyone else’s business. They boost their own insecurities by taking pride in knowing the intimate details of everyone’s lives—which they will share as the latest gossip. They may even create drama among people in their circle, just so that they have more entertainment to watch unfold. That particular behavior pattern is known as the pot-stirrer . They often use subterfuge and deceitful tactics to get you to admit personal details to them, which they’ll then immediately blab about to others.
    â€” How this relationship affects you : This type of relationship may confuse you, unless you’re in touch with your feelings and trust them. An Earth Angel who’s new to this sort of behavior may mistake prying questions as being a sign that someone actually cares.
    â€” How to handle this : If you have the feeling that someone doesn’t care about you and your life but is just pressing for details to entertain him- or herself as if you’re a reality show, trust that feeling . Stop feeding the shark! Don’t share any further information about your life. When you’re asked intimate questions, the direct and honest answer is “I’d rather not discuss this.” If you say this enough times to nosy people, they’ll move on to another target. Or, in the best-case scenario, they’ll wake up and discontinue their dysfunctional and hurtful