Because of Kian by Sibylla Matilde

moment to toss the condom, he shucked off his shirt and jeans, then slid into the cool, smooth sheets beside me. His large frame wrapped around my body, sheltering me in the warm security of his embrace.
    “I should probably confess, also, then,” I whispered. “I was jealous… very much so.”
    “I got a little worried that it was going to backfire, though, when that skuzzy dude came up to you at the bar,” he admitted as his lips brushed up against my forehead.
    “Oh my God, you shouldn’t have,” I softly chuckled. “He was completely soused. I was kind of a bitch to him, but he apparently was intrigued by the challenge.”
    “So they were fucking with you,” he ground out.
    “I took care of it,” I smiled softly. “Nailed him in the groin, and he dropped like a rock.”
    Kian laughed softly. “ I’ve never been so ecstatic to hear about a guy getting kneed in the nuts.”
    He rose up on his elbow above me, rolling me slightly so he was leaning over me. The soft amethyst glow from my little dresser nightlight dimly illuminated the hard contours of his face, just enough to see the seriousness of his expression.
    “It’s probably a good thing you got to him first. I wanted to kill that fucker in the bar for even talking to you.”
    “ It’s a very stupid game we play sometimes,” I said softly, grazing my fingertips along his strong jaw. “I try so hard not to want you. You’re kinda like crack though. As much as I fight it, I can’t seem to stay away. Even though it’s not good for me. Or you.”
    “Who says?”
    “I’m a mess, Kian,” I whispered. “You don’t know the half of it.”
    “Brynn, nobody’s as together as they seem. Everyone has skeletons in their closet and monsters under their bed.” He brushed the hair back from my forehead with an amazingly gentle touch for such large, strong hands.
    “What are yours?” I asked.
    His brow knitted tightly, and he averted his eyes for a moment.
    “My mom,” he finally murmured softly , looking back at me. “This ink,” he nodded towards his tattooed shoulder, “it’s a Celtic motherhood knot. For her. To remind me of what I did.”
    I leaned up to trace my finger along the intricate design that decorated his shoulder.
    “What does this say? Is it Gaelic or something?”
    He nodded almost imperceptibly. “It says ‘ my mother ’ on the one side, and on the other ‘ forever in my heart .’”
    “That’s … so sweet and sad.” ” I whispered. His voice had sounded incredibly forlorn and remorseful. “What happened?”
    “ After my dad died, it was just her and I for a long time. She called me the man of the house,” he smiled sadly. “I tried to be, even though I was just a kid. As the years went on, though, I pulled away a little. A typical teenage boy. She let me, knowing I needed the space. Knowing I needed to be my own man, and not just hers.”
    The despondency, the sheer grief, which emanated from Kian was palpable. It weighted his spirit and tugged sharply at my heart.
    “She was… lonely,” he continued. “She didn’t really have much other than me, so she started seeing this guy, a mechanic who had worked on her car. Before long, they got married. It was a small town, and there wasn’t a lot to choose from. I think she saw security, someone to help her feel less alone, especially since I was so distant. Fuck, this guy was kind of an asshole, though. I hated him, pulled away even more. ” Kian rolled to his back, using one arm to keep me pulled tightly against his side, and I nuzzled my face in to the crook of his neck. “We pretty much just fought. He pushed me around a little, I pushed back. It tore her apart, so I tried to shield her from it. I tried to get along with that bastard, but I was never good enough. Over and over again, he’d fuck with me until I lost my cool. It was a train wreck, and she decided to leave him. But I left instead, before she could. I’d just graduated, so I packed up my