shit and took off.”
I trailed my fingers along his chest as he spoke, tracing his collarbone and skimming down his shoulder over the coiled pattern of ink. Over the scripted letters that perfectly accented the knot.
“With me gone,” Kian said quietly, “he turned on her. She wasn’t able to get out fast enough, and he…” His voice trailed off with a sharp hitch of emotion. “Fuck,” he muttered. “I’ve never said this aloud.”
I lifted myself to rise above him, stroking his jaw, doing everything I could to comfort him as he continued.
“He really fucked her up. I got a call from the hospital as her next of kin. She was barely alive when I got there. He’d beaten her so bad that I could hardly recognize her. It was more than her fragile body could take. She slipped away from me while I sat there wishing it was me that he’d beaten.” His voice dropped to a harsh whisper. “That fucker killed her.” The raw agony in his voice shredded me. Kian pushed his head back into the pillows of my bed and stared unseeing at the ceiling. “I should have never left her.” His words barely audible in the quiet room.
“Kian, you can’t blame yourself for that,” I offered solemnly.
“ But I left her there, knowing what an absolute fucking bastard he was.” He swallowed hard and shook his head faintly. “Right before she died, she whispered that she loved me, and that she knew I had to get away.” He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly with a shudder. “She apologized… to me.”
His eyes closed tightly as I caressed his clenched jaw, ran my fingertips over his eyebrows, desperately trying to absorb some of his guilt and agony. I didn’t know what to say. How to ease his suffering.
“God, I wanted to kill him. I wanted to rip him apart with my bare hands.” Kian shook his head slightly in frustration. “He had been arrested after he hurt her. Was found guilty of manslaughter. Fucker got shanked in prison. Bled out on the floor of the God-damned cafeteria. He deserved a lot worse.”
I gently combed my fingers through the short hair that fell over his forehead, then kissed his cheek softly and pressed myself tightly against him.
“No wonder you were so angry when you saw Evan hit me,” I murmured.
His arms tightened around me in response, his fingers toying with the hair that spilled down my back. “I wanted to kill that fucker, too. I still do, every time I think about it.”
“I was lucky you showed up when you did.”
“I’m not sure how much of that was luck …” he trailed off.
Something about the tone of his voice made me raise my head to meet his gaze in the shadows.
“What do you mean?”
His fingers cupped my cheek. “I wanted you from the first time I saw you. Since you first walked past me in Hyper one night. Quite a while before I chased Evan off.”
“How long before?”
He seemed to be battling one of those monsters he’d mentioned earlier. A flutter of apprehension wafted through my gut, wrought of confusion. The unease that emanated from him was unnerving.
“When I was little kid,” he said softly, “before my dad died, we took a vacation to Hawaii. I was really little and I don’t remember much. I faintly remember the beach and that we drove all over in the mountains which made me carsick.”
I watched him closely as he spoke, trying to imagine the little boy he had once been. It seemed so foreign, this big, formidable, strong man as a small child.
“But,” he continued, “the thing I remember the most was getting off the plane … and the scent that filled the air. It was thick with the sweet smell of some kind of fresh flowers. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven, leaving Montana in the harsh winter and landing there in paradise. The warmth with that amazing smell all around me.”
He shifted, rolling me to my back and lifting onto his elbows above me. One of his hands cupped my face as his thumb grazed my cheekbone. “And then, I was standing
I trailed my fingers along his chest as he spoke, tracing his collarbone and skimming down his shoulder over the coiled pattern of ink. Over the scripted letters that perfectly accented the knot.
“With me gone,” Kian said quietly, “he turned on her. She wasn’t able to get out fast enough, and he…” His voice trailed off with a sharp hitch of emotion. “Fuck,” he muttered. “I’ve never said this aloud.”
I lifted myself to rise above him, stroking his jaw, doing everything I could to comfort him as he continued.
“He really fucked her up. I got a call from the hospital as her next of kin. She was barely alive when I got there. He’d beaten her so bad that I could hardly recognize her. It was more than her fragile body could take. She slipped away from me while I sat there wishing it was me that he’d beaten.” His voice dropped to a harsh whisper. “That fucker killed her.” The raw agony in his voice shredded me. Kian pushed his head back into the pillows of my bed and stared unseeing at the ceiling. “I should have never left her.” His words barely audible in the quiet room.
“Kian, you can’t blame yourself for that,” I offered solemnly.
“ But I left her there, knowing what an absolute fucking bastard he was.” He swallowed hard and shook his head faintly. “Right before she died, she whispered that she loved me, and that she knew I had to get away.” He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly with a shudder. “She apologized… to me.”
His eyes closed tightly as I caressed his clenched jaw, ran my fingertips over his eyebrows, desperately trying to absorb some of his guilt and agony. I didn’t know what to say. How to ease his suffering.
“God, I wanted to kill him. I wanted to rip him apart with my bare hands.” Kian shook his head slightly in frustration. “He had been arrested after he hurt her. Was found guilty of manslaughter. Fucker got shanked in prison. Bled out on the floor of the God-damned cafeteria. He deserved a lot worse.”
I gently combed my fingers through the short hair that fell over his forehead, then kissed his cheek softly and pressed myself tightly against him.
“No wonder you were so angry when you saw Evan hit me,” I murmured.
His arms tightened around me in response, his fingers toying with the hair that spilled down my back. “I wanted to kill that fucker, too. I still do, every time I think about it.”
“I was lucky you showed up when you did.”
“I’m not sure how much of that was luck …” he trailed off.
Something about the tone of his voice made me raise my head to meet his gaze in the shadows.
“What do you mean?”
His fingers cupped my cheek. “I wanted you from the first time I saw you. Since you first walked past me in Hyper one night. Quite a while before I chased Evan off.”
“How long before?”
He seemed to be battling one of those monsters he’d mentioned earlier. A flutter of apprehension wafted through my gut, wrought of confusion. The unease that emanated from him was unnerving.
“When I was little kid,” he said softly, “before my dad died, we took a vacation to Hawaii. I was really little and I don’t remember much. I faintly remember the beach and that we drove all over in the mountains which made me carsick.”
I watched him closely as he spoke, trying to imagine the little boy he had once been. It seemed so foreign, this big, formidable, strong man as a small child.
“But,” he continued, “the thing I remember the most was getting off the plane … and the scent that filled the air. It was thick with the sweet smell of some kind of fresh flowers. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven, leaving Montana in the harsh winter and landing there in paradise. The warmth with that amazing smell all around me.”
He shifted, rolling me to my back and lifting onto his elbows above me. One of his hands cupped my face as his thumb grazed my cheekbone. “And then, I was standing
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