Before long, the only ones that hung around me, with the exception of Melody and Trinity, were those I only had to crook my finger at to get them to fall into my bed. There was no challenge, no seduction, and I grew bored.
A few weeks before I met Toni, a woman slipped me her number under her credit card while I was tending bar. She was my type, or the type I took to bed, beautiful in an overt and overdone way and absolutely not interested in getting to know me on a personal level. I doubted she even knew my name. The only thing she was interested in was how many times I could make her scream before morning came and she stumbled away from my place, as if I would take her there. I’d turned myself into an amusement park ride, and I was disgusted with myself.
I handed her back her card and threw her number in the trash as soon as she turned her back. Without examining my actions, I continued to throw away every scrap of paper or bar napkin women used to pass me their number from then on. Melody caught on by the middle of the night and smiled at me.
There wasn’t a “come to Jesus” moment or anything that had me practicing celibacy. I really hadn’t thought about giving up womanizing at all. Every time I took a woman to bed, it was the same miserably awkward experience. Most of them would try to make me understand that they “never did this sort of thing,” which meant they did it way too often but didn’t want to think of themselves as sluts.
The really confident women would strip immediately and take away the fun of the slow unveiling that built sexual tension. It was like waking up Christmas Morning and having someone quickly unwrap all of your presents before you could get to them. Shy women would insist on turning the lights off or down so low I could never see them clearly. Their touch was hesitant, and usually a little sad. They wanted me, but they didn’t like the fact they were giving in to their desire.
Then one night, Toni walked into the bar. I don’t even know what it was about her that drew my attention, but when she sat at the bar and spent more time examining her phone than my ass, I was intrigued. I had to work fast and lay on the charm to get her to keep talking to me. It was a challenge, and for the first time in a very long time, I was interested in more than a quick fuck.
I had to get to know her, and I worked hard for every tiny interaction I had with her. I had moments where I was afraid I was only drawn to the challenge she presented me, but I was tired of holding myself away from people to prevent making the same mistakes as my father.
I opened my mouth to reply to Toni’s last statement about why she hadn’t responded to Miguel the way she did me. I’d been quiet too long, and I didn’t want her to get suspicious of my train of thought. But before I spoke a word, the soft sound of her breathing let me know she was asleep.
I willed myself to follow after her and closed my eyes. Lying next to her and actually sleeping was a new experience. There was more intimacy between our fully clothed bodies than any of the sweaty sessions I’d had with other women between their sheets.
Resting next to Toni gave me some of the most erotic dreams I’ve ever had. Sensations were heightened like they never had been before. In them, I buried my face into the elegant curve of her neck. Since anything is allowed in a dream, I nibbled my way up to the corner of her jaw. Her skin smelled like sandalwood and vanilla.
Her firm ass pressed into my aching groin, and I held her tight as I rocked against her. I slid my hand against her smooth skin under the elastic of her lace panties and let my other hand travel up under a soft cotton shirt to cup a full breast. I stroked my thumb against the peak until it hardened in my hand.
Please don’t let me wake up , I silently begged. Afraid that any minute my dream would disappear, I sped up the teasing motions with my hand in her panties. I couldn’t hold out
A few weeks before I met Toni, a woman slipped me her number under her credit card while I was tending bar. She was my type, or the type I took to bed, beautiful in an overt and overdone way and absolutely not interested in getting to know me on a personal level. I doubted she even knew my name. The only thing she was interested in was how many times I could make her scream before morning came and she stumbled away from my place, as if I would take her there. I’d turned myself into an amusement park ride, and I was disgusted with myself.
I handed her back her card and threw her number in the trash as soon as she turned her back. Without examining my actions, I continued to throw away every scrap of paper or bar napkin women used to pass me their number from then on. Melody caught on by the middle of the night and smiled at me.
There wasn’t a “come to Jesus” moment or anything that had me practicing celibacy. I really hadn’t thought about giving up womanizing at all. Every time I took a woman to bed, it was the same miserably awkward experience. Most of them would try to make me understand that they “never did this sort of thing,” which meant they did it way too often but didn’t want to think of themselves as sluts.
The really confident women would strip immediately and take away the fun of the slow unveiling that built sexual tension. It was like waking up Christmas Morning and having someone quickly unwrap all of your presents before you could get to them. Shy women would insist on turning the lights off or down so low I could never see them clearly. Their touch was hesitant, and usually a little sad. They wanted me, but they didn’t like the fact they were giving in to their desire.
Then one night, Toni walked into the bar. I don’t even know what it was about her that drew my attention, but when she sat at the bar and spent more time examining her phone than my ass, I was intrigued. I had to work fast and lay on the charm to get her to keep talking to me. It was a challenge, and for the first time in a very long time, I was interested in more than a quick fuck.
I had to get to know her, and I worked hard for every tiny interaction I had with her. I had moments where I was afraid I was only drawn to the challenge she presented me, but I was tired of holding myself away from people to prevent making the same mistakes as my father.
I opened my mouth to reply to Toni’s last statement about why she hadn’t responded to Miguel the way she did me. I’d been quiet too long, and I didn’t want her to get suspicious of my train of thought. But before I spoke a word, the soft sound of her breathing let me know she was asleep.
I willed myself to follow after her and closed my eyes. Lying next to her and actually sleeping was a new experience. There was more intimacy between our fully clothed bodies than any of the sweaty sessions I’d had with other women between their sheets.
Resting next to Toni gave me some of the most erotic dreams I’ve ever had. Sensations were heightened like they never had been before. In them, I buried my face into the elegant curve of her neck. Since anything is allowed in a dream, I nibbled my way up to the corner of her jaw. Her skin smelled like sandalwood and vanilla.
Her firm ass pressed into my aching groin, and I held her tight as I rocked against her. I slid my hand against her smooth skin under the elastic of her lace panties and let my other hand travel up under a soft cotton shirt to cup a full breast. I stroked my thumb against the peak until it hardened in my hand.
Please don’t let me wake up , I silently begged. Afraid that any minute my dream would disappear, I sped up the teasing motions with my hand in her panties. I couldn’t hold out
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