Loving an Ugly Beast by Danielle Monsch

up.
    Sara ?
    Before the conscious thought materialized, Nissa was already running toward the woman, picking up her skirt. “Sara,” she called out. “Sara!”
    The grandmotherly woman turned, displaying pink cheeks and laughing eyes. When Nissa was within shouting distance, Sara called out, “Good heavens, child, I would have waited for you. No need to wear yourself out.”
    Nissa pulled up next to her. Her heart was going to burst out of her chest and her lungs would never get enough oxygen again, but it was Sara. After all this time, Sara had returned to her.
    She stared at the fairy godmother, using her breathing as an excuse to take an extra moment to clear her jumbled thoughts. It was probably best to start safe. “You granted Benton’s wish?”
    Sara smiled, bringing her hand up to cup Nissa’s cheek. “Of course it was me. I would never trust your happiness to anyone else.”
    Nissa took in the grandmotherly woman, wanting to bury herself in those surprisingly strong arms again. “Sara, I turned back.”
    Sara smoothed the black mass of hair away from Nissa’s face. “Of course you did. Your wish had been granted.”
    “But you never told me I would turn back again.”
    Sara studied her for a moment and then took Nissa’s young, unlined hand into her own. They walked several minutes around the lake before Sara said, “Do you remember the wish you made that night?”
    Nissa shook her head. “I only remember bits and pieces. I remember…- I remember I wanted you to take it away.”
    “Yes, that was your first wish, but I told you no magic could do that. Do you remember what you said afterward?”
    “No, that’s one of the blank times.”
    Sara stopped and faced them both toward the lake, where the setting sun reflected the most harmonious mix of red and gold to paint the clear blue of the water. “You said, ‘Then hide me until I’m strong again’.”
    The bugs were starting to come out. Nissa swept her hand in a lazy pattern in front of her to displace the first wave of insects. “I feel confused and anxious and scared. I’m not sure that translates to strong.”
    Sara smiled, a smile that hinted at secrets behind secrets. “Few people are truly strong alone. It’s only when we are with the person we trust with everything we are that we find true strength. That’s the strength needed to not only endure, but to overcome and make everything around us better.”
    “Benton,” Nissa said, and Sara inclined her head, a benediction upon the realization. “But why did I have to change back if Benton liked the other Nissa?”
    “Because this is the real you. This is who you are meant to be, just as Benton could never be comfortable as Byron.” Sara pulled her cloak tighter around her shoulders. “That other face wasn’t you, and it’s a fundamental truth you can’t hide forever. You shouldn’t want to.”
    “How was she not me? This isn’t the same situation as Benton where the magic changed parts of his personality. The other Nissa versus me, the only difference is looks.”
    Sara shrugged. “It’s not that simple. Yes, you are right. The other Nissa was you. She had your humor and your compassionate nature and your stubborn streak – all of those were the same. But she was also a shield for you. You used her to keep away from the world and to keep the world back from you.”
    That was a truth undeniable. Even today she had wished she was the old Nissa in the tavern. Perhaps it was time for the crutch to be set aside. “So I’m brave now? Then why does the thought of confronting Benton terrify me?”
    Sara’s voice was warm and maternal. “What are you scared of?”
    “That he’s left me. I’m scared that I turned into Beauty, but this is one time she isn’t wanted by the Beast.”
    Sara rested her hand on Nissa’s shoulder. “He gave up his world for you, and then he threw away his only chance at living in regular society to protect you. He’s fighting your dragons even now.