Our Gang

Our Gang by Philip Roth

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Authors: Philip Roth
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    school our professors used to call them
    "ambulance-chasers" and "shysters." Unfortunately,
    these men cling not only to the bottom rungs of the
    profession, which would be bad enough, but on rare
    occasions manage to climb to the very top-yes, even
    to positions of great responsibility and power.
    Now I needn't remind you of the scandal that
    took place here in Washington during the tenure of
    the last administration. You all remember that a
    lawyer appointed by my predecessor to the Supreme
    Court of the United States, the highest court in the
    entire land, had to resign as a justice of that court
    because of financial wrongdoing. Horrifying as that
    incident was to every decent American, there seems
    to me nothing to be
    TRICKY ADDRESSES THE NATION 103
    gained now by reawakening the sense of moral
    outrage that swept the nation at that time.
    As some of you will be quick to point out, there
    were actually two men who found it necessary to
    resign from the Supreme Court, after they had been
    appointed justices of that court by my predecessor.
    But whether there was one, two, three, four or five,
    I simply do not believe it is in the interests of
    national unity to harp upon the errors, grievous
    though they were, of an administration that you
    voters, in your wisdom, repudiated three years ago.
    What is past is past; no one knows that better
    than I do. If I recall to you now the names of these
    two men who found it necessary to tender
    unprecedented resignations to the highest court in
    the land, it is only to answer, as forthrightly as I
    know how, your question, "What kind of lawyer
    would represent Curt Flood?"
    The two men who resigned from the Supreme
    Court were Mr. Abe Fortas and Mr. Arthur
    Goldberg. My fellow Americans, the name of the
    lawyer representing Charles Curtis Flood is Arthur
    Goldberg. G-o-l-d-b-a-r-g.
    Now, before I am accused of trying to shock or
    alarm the Ameriean public, let me say that I myself
    am not the least bit shocked or alarmed by this turn
    of events. Having served on the highest court of the
    land, Mr. Goldberg undoubtedly now knows the ins
    and the outs of the
    104 OUR GANG

law as well as the most devious lawyer in the
    country. Moreover, none of us should be surprised
    to discover a man who has fallen from the pinnacle
    of his profession, willing to try just about anything
    to get back into the public eye. Before the Flood
    case is concluded, I would not be surprised to find
    Mr. Abe Fortas joining forces with Mr. Arthur
    Goldberg in defense of Charles Curtis Flood.
    Now you may say to me, "But surely, Mr.
    President, any man who wishes to destroy the game
    of baseball, and enlists such attorneys as these in his
    attempt to accomplish that end, is not even entitled
    to a hearing in court. Not only is he making a
    mockery of our entire judicial system, but in order
    for him to go `up against the system' we, the
    American taxpayers, have to pay for the upkeep of
    the very system he is working to annihilate. If we
    allow that, then we might as well allow selfconfessed
    Communists to teach our children in the
    classrooms. We might as well throw down our arms
    right now in the battle for freedom, and hand over
    our schools and our courtrooms without a fight to
    the avowed enemies of democracy."
    Well, let me assure you that I couldn't agree
    more. In fact, we are right now studying ways of
    restoring the dignity and majesty and, sanctity of
    old to the courtrooms of the land. As , you know,
    one experiment that we have tried with some
    TRICKY ADDRESSES TIM NATION 105
    success here in Washington is the "Justice in the
    Streets Program." This is a program whereby
    sentencing and punishment, for capital crimes as
    well as felonies and misdemeanors, is delivered on
    the spot at the very moment the crime is
    committed, or even appears to have been committed.
    Through J.I.T.S.P. and related methods of
    expediting the judicial process, we hope to be able
    not only to unclog the court

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