dedicate our attention to a more thorough discussion of these six substages of coreplay, explore related topics that arise throughout the process of female sexual response, and break down an array of techniques that will keep the action going.
But first, before we do anything, let’s make sure we’re in the right position…
Form Follows Function:
Getting into Position
B EFORE GOING DOWN on a woman, make sure to position yourself for maximum performance. Bad form is often the difference between success and failure. Porn films would have us believe that any position is the right position: up against the wall, on top of a table, hanging off the bed, hanging off the rafters—the wilder the better. But it should come as no surprise that with titles like Hannah Does Her Sisters or Titty Titty Bang Bang, the porn industry, in general, shies away from the lofty aesthetics of cinema vérité.
First and foremost, expert cunnilingus needs to be delivered from a position that enables the giver to comfortably apply persistent, rhythmic pressure over time while the receiver relaxes into the nuances of arousal. Not surprisingly, one of the main reasons why men say they don’t perform cunnilingus more often is the physical strain—in short, the pain of being in the wrong position. So if yourattitude toward cunnilingus is “no pain, no gain,” the sentiment is appreciated, but entirely unnecessary.
First, the Wrong Way
There are a few positions, better suited to porn films than to prolonged clitoral stimulation, that have nonetheless become widely, and wrongly, disseminated into the mainstream. At best they serve as spicy embellishments to a session of cunnilingus; at worst they can seriously undermine the entire experience. These popular positions include 69’ing, SOMF (Sit on My Face), and Up Against the Wall, among others.
69’ing
Of the three positions mentioned, 69’ing, in which man and woman service each other simultaneously, is probably the most prevalent and also the most problematic:
• In the 69 position, you are endeavoring to provide stimulation from the wrong point of attack. Rather than approaching her vulva from the south (bottom up), you’re coming in from the north (top down). Regardless of who’s on top, you’ll have little use of your hands and it will be difficult to use your tongue to comfortably service the major parts of her clitoris. As author and sex columnist Anka Radakovich writes of the position: “Working out the logistics of fitting mouths on orifices and protrusions while adjusting to the rhythm is like playing a game of Naked Twister.”
• If you’re giving while simultaneously receiving, it’s highly unlikely that you’ll be able to focus on the application of measured, evenhanded clitoral stimulation. There’s even achance that you’ll get caught up in the moment and allow yourself to lose control.
• Finally, the position cannot be comfortably sustained at length, nor can she fully relax and concentrate on the nuances of arousal. The fact is, when it comes to oral sex, it’s best for one partner to focus on giving while the other focuses on receiving—both are extremely pleasurable and best kept pure.
In short, 69’ing is a novelty act. That’s not to say it isn’t an exciting position, or a compelling means of enabling her to enjoy the pleasure of pleasuring you, but such joys are best experienced during foreplay—not coreplay.
When 69’ing during foreplay, make sure you don’t waste your best tongue strokes: save them for coreplay. The first kiss upon her vulva should take her breath away, so don’t diminish the sense of anticipation. Instead, kiss the areas around the vulva rather than the clitoris. Use your lips, not your tongue. Smooch. Nibble. But stay away from the clitoral head. Turn the position into one of strength; use it as a way of teasing her to greater heights.
SOMF (Sit on My Face)
The same can be said of SOMF, a position
But first, before we do anything, let’s make sure we’re in the right position…
Form Follows Function:
Getting into Position
B EFORE GOING DOWN on a woman, make sure to position yourself for maximum performance. Bad form is often the difference between success and failure. Porn films would have us believe that any position is the right position: up against the wall, on top of a table, hanging off the bed, hanging off the rafters—the wilder the better. But it should come as no surprise that with titles like Hannah Does Her Sisters or Titty Titty Bang Bang, the porn industry, in general, shies away from the lofty aesthetics of cinema vérité.
First and foremost, expert cunnilingus needs to be delivered from a position that enables the giver to comfortably apply persistent, rhythmic pressure over time while the receiver relaxes into the nuances of arousal. Not surprisingly, one of the main reasons why men say they don’t perform cunnilingus more often is the physical strain—in short, the pain of being in the wrong position. So if yourattitude toward cunnilingus is “no pain, no gain,” the sentiment is appreciated, but entirely unnecessary.
First, the Wrong Way
There are a few positions, better suited to porn films than to prolonged clitoral stimulation, that have nonetheless become widely, and wrongly, disseminated into the mainstream. At best they serve as spicy embellishments to a session of cunnilingus; at worst they can seriously undermine the entire experience. These popular positions include 69’ing, SOMF (Sit on My Face), and Up Against the Wall, among others.
69’ing
Of the three positions mentioned, 69’ing, in which man and woman service each other simultaneously, is probably the most prevalent and also the most problematic:
• In the 69 position, you are endeavoring to provide stimulation from the wrong point of attack. Rather than approaching her vulva from the south (bottom up), you’re coming in from the north (top down). Regardless of who’s on top, you’ll have little use of your hands and it will be difficult to use your tongue to comfortably service the major parts of her clitoris. As author and sex columnist Anka Radakovich writes of the position: “Working out the logistics of fitting mouths on orifices and protrusions while adjusting to the rhythm is like playing a game of Naked Twister.”
• If you’re giving while simultaneously receiving, it’s highly unlikely that you’ll be able to focus on the application of measured, evenhanded clitoral stimulation. There’s even achance that you’ll get caught up in the moment and allow yourself to lose control.
• Finally, the position cannot be comfortably sustained at length, nor can she fully relax and concentrate on the nuances of arousal. The fact is, when it comes to oral sex, it’s best for one partner to focus on giving while the other focuses on receiving—both are extremely pleasurable and best kept pure.
In short, 69’ing is a novelty act. That’s not to say it isn’t an exciting position, or a compelling means of enabling her to enjoy the pleasure of pleasuring you, but such joys are best experienced during foreplay—not coreplay.
When 69’ing during foreplay, make sure you don’t waste your best tongue strokes: save them for coreplay. The first kiss upon her vulva should take her breath away, so don’t diminish the sense of anticipation. Instead, kiss the areas around the vulva rather than the clitoris. Use your lips, not your tongue. Smooch. Nibble. But stay away from the clitoral head. Turn the position into one of strength; use it as a way of teasing her to greater heights.
SOMF (Sit on My Face)
The same can be said of SOMF, a position
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