The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism by Olivia Fox Cabane
Authors: Olivia Fox Cabane
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visualizations reach an entirely new level. Because physiology affects psychology (yes, your body affects your mind—more on this in the next chapter), creating certain movements or postures can bring up specific emotions in your mind.
Try to think of what gesture you tend to make when you achieve something, like a good golf shot, or when you get really good news. Is it the classic fist pump? Or maybe you raise both arms in the air and shout “YES!” By adding this particular gesture (and words, if any) to the end of your visualization, when your confidence is soaring, you’ll engage your entire physiology and “lock in” the triumphant feeling, maximizing the effect of the exercise.
With all of these dimensions—visual, auditory, kinesthetic—keep refining as you go along. If you feel that a particular image, phrase, movement, or song works well, tweak it a little and observe how that affects the results. Notice what happens when you zoom in on visual details, sounds, or sensations. Whether you’re hearing encouraging voices or feeling the warmth of the sun, keep making small changes. The combination of sights and sounds that works best for me has changed considerably over the years.
Visualization is truly a miracle method, helping you boost confidence, emanate more warmth, replace anxiety with calm serenity, or gain access to whichever emotion you’d like to feel and then broadcast it through your body language. In fact, it’s worth taking the time to develop and practice a go-to visualization to effectively help you regain calm and confidence. That way, during times of stress, you won’t need to come up with new imagery on the fly. You’ll already know what works for you.
Here are three more visualizations to use when you want a charisma boost before giving a presentation, attending a key meeting, or anytime you’re feeling anxious.
Just before giving a presentation: Some of this century’s best-known speakers report using some version of visualization just before stepping into the spotlight. In fact, it would be unusual to find a great speaker who doesn’t. When clients ask me if they should use visualization before an important speech, I answer, “Only if you want it to go really well!”
After fifteen years of speaking professionally, I find that doing even thirty seconds of visualization makes a substantial difference to my performance. It greatly affects how charismatic I am on stage. In fact, every time I
don’t
run through a visualization just before stepping on stage, I regret it. Even when I know the speech so well I could say it backward, it’s worth using visualization to ensure that I get into the right charismatic mental state.
To make the visualization most effective, I try to arrive at the venue early so that I can walk around the stage and get comfortable with the space. I take the right music along with me and start the visualizations right there on stage, aiming to link confident, triumphant feelings to being in that particular environment. While listening to an uplifting, energizing soundtrack, I create mental movies, vividly imagining how splendidly the speech is going, seeing and hearing the audience’s enthusiastic response as I confidently move across the stage.
A few minutes before I’m due to walk out under the spotlights, I hide away in an unoccupied room (this is such a common practice for actors, politicians, speakers, and all other performers that a special room called the
green room
is often reserved for just this purpose) and run through my visualization, dancing around (yes, I’m serious) to my personal soundtrack.
Before important meetings: One of the most impressive young businesswomen I know seems to always float on a cloud of confidence, and things somehow always go well for her. When Silvia goes to pitch a deal, people who know her take for granted that she’ll win the day.
Silvia recently confided that visualization is one of the secrets to her success.
Try to think of what gesture you tend to make when you achieve something, like a good golf shot, or when you get really good news. Is it the classic fist pump? Or maybe you raise both arms in the air and shout “YES!” By adding this particular gesture (and words, if any) to the end of your visualization, when your confidence is soaring, you’ll engage your entire physiology and “lock in” the triumphant feeling, maximizing the effect of the exercise.
With all of these dimensions—visual, auditory, kinesthetic—keep refining as you go along. If you feel that a particular image, phrase, movement, or song works well, tweak it a little and observe how that affects the results. Notice what happens when you zoom in on visual details, sounds, or sensations. Whether you’re hearing encouraging voices or feeling the warmth of the sun, keep making small changes. The combination of sights and sounds that works best for me has changed considerably over the years.
Visualization is truly a miracle method, helping you boost confidence, emanate more warmth, replace anxiety with calm serenity, or gain access to whichever emotion you’d like to feel and then broadcast it through your body language. In fact, it’s worth taking the time to develop and practice a go-to visualization to effectively help you regain calm and confidence. That way, during times of stress, you won’t need to come up with new imagery on the fly. You’ll already know what works for you.
Here are three more visualizations to use when you want a charisma boost before giving a presentation, attending a key meeting, or anytime you’re feeling anxious.
Just before giving a presentation: Some of this century’s best-known speakers report using some version of visualization just before stepping into the spotlight. In fact, it would be unusual to find a great speaker who doesn’t. When clients ask me if they should use visualization before an important speech, I answer, “Only if you want it to go really well!”
After fifteen years of speaking professionally, I find that doing even thirty seconds of visualization makes a substantial difference to my performance. It greatly affects how charismatic I am on stage. In fact, every time I
don’t
run through a visualization just before stepping on stage, I regret it. Even when I know the speech so well I could say it backward, it’s worth using visualization to ensure that I get into the right charismatic mental state.
To make the visualization most effective, I try to arrive at the venue early so that I can walk around the stage and get comfortable with the space. I take the right music along with me and start the visualizations right there on stage, aiming to link confident, triumphant feelings to being in that particular environment. While listening to an uplifting, energizing soundtrack, I create mental movies, vividly imagining how splendidly the speech is going, seeing and hearing the audience’s enthusiastic response as I confidently move across the stage.
A few minutes before I’m due to walk out under the spotlights, I hide away in an unoccupied room (this is such a common practice for actors, politicians, speakers, and all other performers that a special room called the
green room
is often reserved for just this purpose) and run through my visualization, dancing around (yes, I’m serious) to my personal soundtrack.
Before important meetings: One of the most impressive young businesswomen I know seems to always float on a cloud of confidence, and things somehow always go well for her. When Silvia goes to pitch a deal, people who know her take for granted that she’ll win the day.
Silvia recently confided that visualization is one of the secrets to her success.
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